


I'll Teach You To Dance

by evilqueenofgallifrey (MayFairy)



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/F, Mental Health Issues, Pregnant!Zoe, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 14:59:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1783171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayFairy/pseuds/evilqueenofgallifrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Serenity. </p><p>Six months after the loss of two of their own, the crew of Serenity find themselves unexpectedly saddled with another passenger. Quiet, young, naive, and a runaway, Aden is immediately captivated by River, who takes it upon herself to show Aden that it's easy to dance through the universe if there's someone to show you the steps. </p><p>And maybe, to Simon's shock, Aden could be exactly what River needs too. River/fem!OC</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Little Cat

Mal would later look back on how it all started, and say that his already often dubious common sense had been thrown off by the only thing more important - money.

He's getting ready to shut the doors and tell River to take off so they can leave the backwater rim planet behind them. Problem is, the moment he goes to do so, he starts upon seeing someone standing on the ramp. His mouth opens to yell profanities at the girl standing there (it's been a long day and River won't shut up about cats for some reason and he is beyond tired), but somehow she beats him to it.

"Take me with you," she says simply. Before he can tell her to respectfully piss off, he sees that in her hands is a sack that rustles in that magical way he has come to know so well (but also not as well as he might like). Any words he had been planning on using dry up in his throat as he wonders if he is actually considering this beyond strange and startling request. The sack is tossed into his hands before he can come to any kind of decision. Instinctively, he peers inside and sees the kind of money that usually comes from one of their big jobs. Nothing like what a passenger would normally have.

"Where'd you get this?" Mal asks, regarding her with no small amount of suspicion. No kid - or near enough - should have this kind of money. "It stolen?"

"Yeah." The girl doesn't blink. "You're leaving the planet, it don't matter."

"It matters if those you stole from can follow us."

"They can't. I promise." He's good at reading people, and what he sees is sincerity and desperation in the extreme even if her tone is calm. He doesn't have the time or energy to argue, and with the kind of money now in his hands, he doesn't need to. He can drop her to the nearest planet or moon and walk away with enough money in his hand that he might be able to actually buy a new compression coil for Kaylee as well as enough fuel to last them a few more jobs.

But he wants a few more seconds, just to get a closer read on her, check they aren't signing up for a Saffron of a different kind.

"You're running from something."

"Yeah."

"Where you wanna go?"

"Anywhere that ain't here." Her hazel eyes plead with him, and the desperation he spotted earlier starts to seep into her voice. "Please."

He stares at her for a moment longer before closing his hand more tightly around the sack and jerking his head toward the cargo bay. "Get in."

Relief drowns her features and she smiles in a way that isn't exactly happy but instead purely grateful. "Thank you, sir. You won't regret it, promise, you won't even know I'm here." A tiny, ratty bag over her shoulder is all she carries in with her, and a tiny brightness sparks in her eyes as she takes in the inside of Serenity.

 _Well, at least if she likes Serenity, Kaylee might take to her and keep her out of the way of everyone else_ , Mal thinks. She's not much to look at, around River's age and similarly scrawny with no real feminine curves to speak of. 

"What's your name?"

"Aden."

"Well, I'm Malcolm Reynolds and the captain of this here boat. Follow me." Mal leads her through the ship to spread the word about the new arrival and to make quick introductions.

Jayne is not at all happy at the idea of another passenger - until he sees the money and quickly does a 180 and even asks Aden if she wants him to show her to her room.

Kaylee, unsurprisingly, jumps at the idea of having a new person to get to know, but is instructed by Mal to return to her repair work before she decides to get too sociable. Partly because he needs the repair work done, and partly because her enthusiasm seems to alarm the mousy teenager.

Inara doesn't seem too bothered either way - the money alone explains Mal's agreement and she has no problem with newcomers.

Simon is mild enough about it but quietly seems worried that a new person might not necessary be trustworthy. Even with River's amazing abilities of self-defence, he still worries about the Alliance threat, though this new girl is about as far from that as possible and even a blind idiot can see that.

Zoe is the most impassive of all, she just makes a comment about finally being able to make some decent repairs to the ship and nods politely at Aden. Six months isn't quite enough time for her to regain her passion for the life they lead, not now that she's going it alone. The pregnancy helps though - he knows that the little piece of Wash that is growing inside her is what gives her some of the fire back in her eyes.

River is different, when they reach the bridge. Mal realises he probably should have seen that coming. 

"River, this is-"

"The new stray. I know." River doesn't even look around from where she is plotting their course and taking them slowly out through the atmosphere.

"My name's Aden," Aden offers the other girl demurely, and the brunette's head whirls around. Her dark eyes hold Aden's, with so much depth and complexity that Mal is almost concerned for the new girl for a moment as he remembers how disconcerting he found the younger Tam sibling before he got used to her. But then River blinks and nods curtly, breaking her gaze.

"Yes. That's fine. That's good."

Mal just shakes his head, all but accustomed to River's eccentricity by now, and as he and Aden move back through the ship to find some of the other crewmembers, he explains to Aden that River is special, a gift in her own way but a confusing one. He says nothing about governments or psychics, but figures it is worth saying something because River  _is_ an oddity and it won't go unnoticed. Better to give some half explanation now instead of having the stranger trying to think up full ones on her own. 

Aden just ducks behind her long sandy hair. "I'm used to not understanding things," she says, shrugging and sounding entirely unconcerned, "Don't imagine she'll be too different."

* * *

If Mal had thought the new passenger was very mild for someone in urgent need of passage off world, it quickly becomes apparent that even that is more outspoken than her general demeanour, and that only her apparent desperation had prompted any sort of backbone in her at all.  

Her quietness almost disturbs him at first, but her tendency to keep to her room makes his job easier and seems to keep her happy enough, so he doesn't complain. He figures the girl's got the right to do what she likes, and if it involves her keeping quiet and not getting in the way of any of the crew, then all the better, really.

Dinner the night of her arrival is a little awkward, because the atmosphere of family and comradery is now infiltrated by a stranger, who is obviously all too aware of her intrusion.

Conversation continues mostly as normal, and Aden eats her food without contributing, looking like she is trying to disregard the way that River, who is opposite her, won't stop staring at her. Mal can see that Simon has noticed his sister's behaviour too, but there's nothing either of them can say that won't only make the situation more uncomfortable for the girl who apparently doesn't do well with attention. 

"So, Aden, is this your first time off planet?" Inara asks politely, and sure enough, Aden's head snaps up and her eyes hold no small measure of alarm at being addressed. Once she processes the question, she just nods. "What was your home like?"

"Restrictive," Aden replies, and there's something in her calmly reserved eyes that makes it clear to everyone else that she isn't particularly keen on discussing it. It results in a slightly awkward silence. Luckily, or perhaps rather unfortunately, there's always one person in the crew guaranteed to tactlessly break such silences. 

"Guess that's why you ran away, huh?" Jayne grins. Aden flushes a little while directing her gaze to the plate in front of her, but she does give a tiny nod. 

Mal coughs. "So, Kaylee, you get those repairs done?"

It's a deliberate change of topic on his part, of course, and he sees the smallest flicker of relief cross the face of the stranger at the table when Kaylee, as expected, is all too happily to pipe up about the goings-on of the engine room. From there, the meal continues as normal. 

* * *

It's been three days since she got luckier than she's ever been in her whole life and managed to get on board  _Serenity_.

It's been as good as Aden might hope, but the crew are less of a crew and more of a tight knit group that she thinks is akin to a family. She doesn't have a strong understanding of the word or its actual definition, but from the little she knows from a few books, they are a self-formed version. It leaves Aden feeling out of place, but it's not a new feeling for her, and since she is going to be getting off as soon as possible, it hardly matters. She has spent most of the time in her small room, reading the same book - her only one - over and over again. Meals are the only times she comes out, and she makes a point to eat silently and make short replies to any questions put to her. 

But today is different. She's gone multiple days without social interaction before, and is capable of doing so easily, but her curiosity about the ship and the people within it festers inside her chest until it is more potent than the fear.

She enters the dining room when it is still several hours until dinner, and finds River in there, passively snacking on a tiny bit of leftover protein. 

"Hi," Aden says, because what else is there to say? 

River's eyes regard her unfathomably. "Little cat's finally come out." 

"Little cat?"

"Little and quiet," the brunette replies, stepping in circles as she moves around the table, "Aloof except not really."

Aden's very subtle look of incredulity is apparently enough to make River grin, which shouldn't be a significant action but it somehow is because Aden's stomach does an odd backflip. River doesn't say another word, as if she knows that Aden's mind has inconveniently decided to have a brief malfunction.

So they stand, both silent and staring at the other. An absurd part of Aden wants to grin back, but she has no idea why and after nearly ten seconds of holding off the urge, she finally manages to discard it and just blinks instead. Somewhat unsurprisingly, River doesn't seem to mind or think it odd. Aden is fairly sure that the other members of the crew of  _Serenity_ , despite being apparently used to Aden's silent ways by now, wouldn't have quite been so undisturbed by such a lack of response.  _  
_

As it is, River just smiles again and sits on the edge of the table, humming under her breath. 

 _The captain was right, she's special. She just knows things. Knows I'm not used to people being friendly with me._ Aden isn't sure how she was so certain of this, but as she holds River's gaze, she only becomes more certain of River's strange perception. 

Mal walks in then, surveys the scene, which is Aden eyeing River curiously and River grinning at Aden, and understandably doesn't seem entirely sure of what he's walked in on. After asking if they're alright and them replying in the affirmative, he leaves while muttering under his breath about something that sounds like 'gorram blank girls staring at me on my boat, like one wasn't enough'.

* * *

It's later that day that Aden watches from the runways as the incredibly beautiful woman, Inara, teaches Mal to fence down below in the space of the cargo bay. It's entertaining and something to do, so she just drinks it in, watching the completely foreign movements with wide, captivated eyes.

There is something between the dark haired beauty and the captain, but Aden doesn't know much about those sorts of things, and so unless it gets obviously private, she doesn't see much harm in her watching.

Aden jumps a mile when River suddenly appears in her peripheral vision and sits down next to her. They've only really spoken twice before, upon Aden's arrival and then earlier today, and neither could count as true conversations. Although Aden is fair from good at reading or understanding anyone, she knows that River is much more of an enigma than anyone else on board. 

Not to mention, now that she's looking at her for the second time today, her stomach feels odd again.

"Their hearts sing for each other," River says, her eyes shifting to also watch Mal and Inara, "But the ears in their heads are clogged up with fluff and excuses."

"I don't know much about things like that," Aden admits, and River's lips quirk, but her head tips to the side.

"It's quite nonsensical," she says, "Brains should be strongest, but hearts do more than they should. And then later, it's about noises and being naked and-" She notices Aden's startled expression and pink cheeks, and giggles. "The little green and red people don't see how silly they are."

"I don't think that kind of love existed where I come from."

"It didn't."

It's the sort of thing that could so easily be brushed off as an assumption, but somehow Aden just  _knows_  that there's more to it. "How do you know?"

"Your font's tricky," River says thoughtfully, tilting her head at her a little, "But your pages are still open. Not hard to read if you know how, little cat, even if you sit there like a little statue, make them all nervous."

"I don't mean to. I'm just-"

"Not used to being allowed to be heard."

Aden wants to nod, or agree and tell her that she's right, but she somehow can't quite manage it and it doesn't seem like River needs her to anyway. The other girl gets up without another word and twirls away. She's light on her feet, a lithe dancer, with more grace in her body and movements than should be humanly possible. Aden's eyes follow her until she's out of sight. 

"You alright?" A male voice from behind her makes Aden jump yet again, and she spins her head to see the other Tam sibling standing nearby (if there's one thing she's managed to do in her periods of silence aboard the ship, it's learn everyone's names from listening to the mealtime conversations instead of contributing to them).

"Huh?"

He makes an awkward hand movement and shrugs slightly. "I don't know what she said, you just look worried, and River can be...strange at times."

"Don't know enough people to know what's strange," Aden finds herself replying, honestly, and gets up, "I'm okay. Thanks anyway, Doctor Tam."

"You can call me Simon," he says, and gives her a funny smile, "Please, do, the others will never let me hear the end of it if they hear you calling me Doctor Tam."

Aden just nods and moves off towards the passenger quarters. She thinks it might be time to return to her most common pastime, which is quietly reading over the only book in her possession -  _A History of Unification_. She has no sympathy in her heart for the Alliance, but doesn't actively hate them either. Being from a rim planet, it's all just sweet nothings from a place too far away to matter. But she isn't a complete idiot, and is reasonably sure of the browncoated captain and where he stands on the whole thing.

She decides to start the book again anyway. Familiar and rather bland words are better than no words at all. She's at it for ten minutes before there is a knock on her door.

Kaylee's head pops into sight. "Hey sweetie, how's it going?"

Aden shuts the book. "Fine."

Kaylee steps properly into the room. "You don't say much, do ya?"

"Never had a lot of reason to before."

The mechanic's eyes are soft as they regard the teenager. "Wherever you ran from weren't so nice, was it?" Aden just shakes her head. "What kinda place was it?"

"They called it New Eden, I think," Aden replies, "Dunno what kinda place. Think folks in town called us all God freaks. Said it was like a prison." She draws her legs up to her chest. "They weren't so wrong about the last part."

"Sounds like a miracle you even got away."

Aden shrugs. "I'm good with locks. Stole their money and bolted to catch the first ship leavin'. Turned out to be  _Serenity."_

Kaylee comes to sit beside her. "Well, money'll get you almost everywhere, 'specially in our circles. Captain's finally getting me a new compression coil from your stolen goods, so I just wanted thank ya."

"I'm just grateful the captain didn't say no. And lucky. They'd have caught up to me for sure."

"You had a whole lotta money, it ain't no problem, and you don't cause no trouble. You're like a quiet little mouse."

"River calls me little cat."

Kaylee looks at the girl with vague interest. "Huh. Dunno if I see it, I'd still say mouse, but she's the reader, not me." That's when she notices the book on Aden's lap. "Ooh, don't let the captain see you with that. He was an Independent Sergeant, you know."

"I don't mean nothing by it," Aden says quietly, touching the cover with her fingertips, "Just like reading. This one's the longest one from back home, so it's the one I took."

"Well, maybe there will be a bit of money leftover to buy you a different book so you don't have read this _liánbāng lèsè_ ," Kaylee says kindly.

The teenager looks up with newly bright eyes. "Really?"

"If it'll stop you reading that, I bet the captain'll even help you pick one out," Kaylee chuckles, and she gets up. "I'll see you tomorrow. You get some sleep kiddo."

Aden watches her go before deciding it is reasonable advice and lies on her cot as her mind goes over the events of the day. Her brain still finds it hard to process that she has truly moved on from the only life she has known, and the fact that she has no real idea what the rest of the world is like is not lost on her. She is all too aware and can only hope for the best and leave it as a problem for another day.

Soon enough, her eyes flicker shut and she's out like a light.

* * *

Mal has to stop and immediately frown when he sees the little albatross poking her head into their passenger's room. He comes up behind her and before he can say a word, without her head turning around, her hand comes up and covers his mouth.

"Shh," River whispers, "She's sleeping."

He moves her hand away. "Yeah, she is...so why're you watchin' her?"

"Kitties are cutest when they're sleeping," she replies, smiling as she leans on the doorframe. Mal blinks, opens his mouth to speak, then shuts it again.

"You know that's a girl and not a cat, right? Cos Kaylee mentioned something that made me think maybe you're a mite confused on this," he says slowly, and River giggles before shutting the door to Aden's room and looping her arm through his as they walk away.

"I'm not really an albatross," she says, and he gives her a crooked smile, "It's all in your head, just like she's in mine." She shrugs. "She's just a girl. A stray who needs a home."

They come into the dining room, where Zoe is sitting with a meal of protein and Kaylee is trying to encourage her to eat. The dark skinned woman looks vaguely green and shakes her head adamantly.

"You alright, Zoe?" Mal asks, and she just sighs and pushes her plate away from her.

"Damn kid's impossible to please, sir," Zoe complains, rubbing her curved belly, "Hate to say it but we need real food, real soon."

"We're a day from Persephone," River puts in as she wandered through the kitchen, her fingers absently grazing the countertops, "27 hours. I can set the course."

The three women in the room look at Mal for confirmation and he nods. "Sounds good. We can see if Badger's got anything for us."

Jayne and Simon wander in then, side eyeing each other in a way that implies that Jayne's just pulled another prank of his on the doctor or has just been taunting him out of boredom. "What's happenin'?" The larger of the two asks. 

"Landing on Persephone within the next day or so, should get some work and food if all goes well," Mal explains, and Jayne nods, pleased by the prospect of both. The muscular man digs his fingers into his belt.

"Good, can't stand hanging round in the black with nothin' to shoot, it ain't good for no one," he says, making Simon roll his eyes behind him.

"Persephone's close enough for people to know about Alliance bulletins," Simon points out, somewhat nervously, "People could still be looking for me and River."

"Then if either of you have plans to be leaving the ship, best be quiet about it and not draw any attention to yourselves," Mal replies simply, eyes flicking between the Tam siblings. River just gives him a cheeky little grin that doesn't do much to reassure the captain, but he knows better than to try and put a leash on the girl.

"What about Aden?" Kaylee suddenly asks. They all hesitate, having forgotten about the extra person on board. Eventually Mal just shrugs.

"Ain't no one looking for her, or so she says. Girl don't seem like a troublemaker, so I don't see why it should be a problem. Kid could stand to leave her room a little more and get some fresh air."

"We can take the cat for a walk," River muses as she sits up on the counter, making Mal rub his forehead.

"You keep this metaphor up, little albatross, and we're gonna need to have a talk about your fascination with this girl."

His words just make River grin like she knows something he doesn't - and it occurs to him that it's a look he sees an awful lot (pettier men than him might find such a realisation irritating, but he's not stupid enough to try and compete with a miracle child psychic when it comes to intelligence).  

Mal just sighs and knows that there's not much to be done about it but wait and find out exactly what it is she's worked out before everyone else. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liánbāng lèsè - federal rubbish
> 
> Any Chinese featured is from Google Translate, so apologies for any inaccuracies. Best I can do, I'm afraid. 
> 
> This is my first Firefly fic, so comments and feedback are appreciated! :)


	2. Like An Open Book

When Aden finally emerges from her room the next morning, she wanders down into the cargo bay to come across none other than Jayne, who's sitting on a crate polishing a very large and intimidating gun. She immediately hesitates and backtracks a few steps.

He notices her and looks up expectantly. "What?" She just stares and stands very still. "What the hell are you staring at?" He demands, making her flinch ever so slightly.

"Nothin'. Sorry," she says quietly, one hand clutching the side of her tattered trousers nervously, and just before she quickly runs up the stairs she blurts out, "I like your hat." As she runs off, he tugs on the woollen hat from his mother thoughtfully before shrugging and going back to his polishing, all the while muttering under his breath about weird girls on his gorram ship.

Zoe catches her when she trips around a corner, and Aden stammers out an apology.

"It's fine," Zoe assures her. "You looking forward to landing tomorrow?"

Aden blinks. "What?"

"No one's told you, huh?" The pregnant woman chuckles. "We're landing on a border planet tomorrow. S'called Persephone. It'll be your first time on a different planet, right?"

"Suppose it will," Aden says slowly, torn between wanting to smile and wanting to panic, "Is it safe?"

Zoe's lips twitch as she moves past the girl and makes her way down the hall. "Depends," she replies wryly before walking around a corner and out of sight.

"On what?" Aden murmurs, more to herself.

"Whether you plan on getting into trouble," a familiar voice says from behind her, making her jump yet again. She spins to see River's mischievous smile waiting for her. "But you don't."

"Can you read what's in my head?" Aden asks abruptly, and River ducks her head and smiles.

"Of course, but not in the way you think."

"I don't understand."

River's hands knot in her cardigan at the same time that her dark eyes follow their twisting movements. "People tell things all the time, without speaking. I just know how to listen." Her eyes flick back up to meet Aden's. "They all think you're so quiet, but you're just as loud as the rest. No one's ever listened to you before so you stopped talking. They made you feel tiny. So you spent all your time on your own just breathing in the world...planning how to run away and see the rest of it. But now you don't know where to go, what to do..."

"Stop," Aden whispers, and River goes still with her mouth already open and in preparation for the next word, even though it doesn't come. "Please."

"It's okay. No one here knows where they're going." River searches her face. "Captain doesn't like it either."

"I know we're books to you but some books aren't meant to be read," Aden says quietly, a little upset but not showing it on her face. Or at least, she thinks she isn't, and after the amount of practice she's had, she thinks she would know, but River can see so much more. As she turns and walks away, River calls after her.

"Every book's meant to be read. That's why they're written. They tried to make your words blurry but I can still make them out!"

Aden bumps past Simon as she comes out along the runways and makes straight for the passenger quarters. She's not sure if she's upset, unsettled or something else altogether, but it's nothing she's ever known and she doesn't like it.

* * *

Simon watches the new passenger hurry away, an odd look on her face. He looks down from where she came from to see River standing passively in the distance. He sighs.

"River…" He says, approaching her, "River, did you say something to Aden?"

The brunette is still staring blankly ahead. "She doesn't like being read. Not used to it."

"I don't know that any of us are used to what you can do,  _meimei_ ," Simon says reasonably, and River's mouth twitches as she shakes her head.

"Everyone reads everyone else a little. She's not used to being read at all. They put her in the dark so they didn't have to. She still thinks about it, being in there so long the sun burnt her eyes when it finally got to say hello again."

Simon's hands graze her face. "River, I don't think you should be telling me things like that. It's one thing for you to know them, but you can't share them when they're not yours to share." Her eyes finally move to look at him. "Okay?"

She sighs minutely as she looks away again. "Okay." Her hands clench and unclench several times. "Then you can't share either."

"I won't," he agrees, "She doesn't need to know you said anything. She probably won't be here for long, she's just catching a ride."

River smiles. It's secretive and just a little too knowledgeable for him to be entirely comfortable. Does she know something about Aden? Or about the future? He doesn't find the idea ridiculous so much as unsettling. He just kisses her on the forehead and moves onto the kitchen to grab a bit of protein for Kaylee who needs it because she's tangled up in wires and unable to fetch it herself.

* * *

Everyone's up and ready to move by the time they land on Persephone at the crack of dawn. After getting dressed, Aden wanders out of her cabin and almost immediately collides with the Captain.

"Aden, good. Now, we're on Persephone." He notices her lack of recognition. "You aren't knowing about many other planets, are ya?"

She shakes her head and tries to look apologetic. "No. Captain. Sorry."

"Well, Persephone here is quite ideal for someone such as yourself. Got all kinda folk here, rich and poor in every extreme and everything in between. Could be that you start from the bottom and work your way up, make something of yourself," the Captain suggests, and she nods.

"Work doing what?"

"Whatever it is you can do. Kaylee says you mentioned being good with locks? Makes stealin' possible if you're so inclined. Or you could learn it as a trade. People always gonna need locks all through the 'verse."

Aden suddenly feels a little brighter, having not considered that her ability to pick locks might be a career. It doesn't, however, erase the glaring truth of the fact that she's about to jump into the real world without knowing almost anything about how it works.

"Captain, you seem to know a lot about the 'verse and people's ways..." She says uncertainly, one hand holding the opposite arm at the elbow shyly.

Mal nods. "Reckon I do."

"Well that's just the thing, sir, I don't," Aden admits sheepishly, "Besides you and your crew, number of people outside of my home I ever talked to would fit on my hands, and inside my home they told us nothings and lies about the verse and people. So...if it's at all possible, sir, maybe before we part ways you could give me a few basic words of advice or somewhat along those lines?" She takes the lack of agreement in his face to mean a negative answer and so backtracks. "But you're very busy so don't trouble over it-"

He frowns and grabs her arm before she can flee from his presence like she was planning in doing. "What kinda man you take me for?"

She can't remember the last time someone has touched her at all and she's not ready for it. Luckily, he notices her immediate panic and lets go of her quickly, perhaps having guessed its source.

"I ain't the kind that throws a kid into the world when she's got no idea what she's gonna find," he says firmly, "Well, maybe I could be, but you've done me something of a service in the money you paid for your short trip here and you've not caused any problems on my boat. That means I got a little time to try and impart some knowledge so you ain't dead in a ditch this time next week. That's common courtesy."

Aden tries and fails to not look terrified at the apparently real possibility that she could be dead in a week. "Thank you Captain. More than I can say."

He just nods again. "Yeah, well, I ain't no murderer of the innocent and letting you off your own without some words of advice would be close enough by the looks of things."

She nods as well and goes to turn away, only for him to speak again.

"Aden." His voice is just a fraction gentler, and his gaze steady. "Now, I don't know why you aren't liking being touched and I don't wanna cos it ain't my business. But while in here people may care enough to respect that, fact of it is that in the real world no one else will. Expect to be shoved and pushed and just generally roughly handled. Ain't much you can do about it, but if they ain't so nice then you need to not show that it bothers you, or they'll be like to decide to use it against you somehow. Don't give them any reason to mess with you. Head low but not low enough to look like easy pickings."

Aden absorbs every word and again nods, this time more than once. It's not something she's given much thought to but even as she properly thinks about it she can recall how physical some of the crew are with each other even when they are just being friendly.

She's just...not used to anyone touching her at all. Back home the Elders hadn't touched the children except for punishment, and she'd avoided the few others her age whenever possible. The last time she'd been touched, before the Captain, had been...the last time the Elders had chucked her in solitary for three days for wandering too far out of the compound again. It had been a tight grip on the upper arms as she struggled and then a forceful push into the cell, then nothing.

Not the sort of thing that leaves pleasant memories. She's never really experienced a friendly physical touch, not really, not ever. To her touching means force and therefore pain or punishment, but she's seen now that there is a whole different world of possibilities.

She's not sure if the thought is exciting or terrifying or a mixture of the two. Being so wrong about something so fundamental is strange and she can't help but wonder what else she has wrong ideas about.

If only there weren't such a short amount of time to learn!

"Thanks, Captain. I'll keep it in mind," she eventually says after realising that she hasn't replied.

"Look, you stick around until after we talk to our contact in the city and then you can have a sit down with some of us and we'll try and impart what knowledge we can before we part ways.  _Hǎo ma_?"

"Yessir. Thanks." This time she really does scurry off to grab her little bag of things before coming out into the cargo bay where the crew is gathering in preparation for leaving the ship. Kaylee is wearing sunny apparel and one of the brightest smiles Aden's ever seen, while Inara's clothes are flattering and elegantly simple in design. They are both such prime yet different examples of beauty that Aden has to smile for moment.

Jayne is prepping his guns in their holsters and Zoe has a coat that half hides her pregnancy bump as well as her guns.

Mal is just coming down the stairs as Simon and River emerge from the common room. The siblings are in understated clothing and River even has a hooded cloak over her flowing pale top and practical leggings. The brunette grins as she ducks her head in and out of the hood like a new game. When she catches Aden staring, the grin doubles in size.

"We ready to move out?" Mal asks. "Good. Zoe and Jayne are coming with me to Badger, the rest of you just stick in the market near the docks and we'll be back soon enough. Inara, you've got the money and know what we need?"

"Yes," Inara replies.

"Good. Let's go."

The group file out the open ramp door and split up, the three fighters going one way and the others filing into the crowded marketplace. Mal's point immediately comes back to resonate in Aden's mind - everyone is incredibly close and her chances of touching a stranger by pure accident are incredibly high. She pulls her arms in close and tries to avoid it regardless. Kaylee and Inara go ahead, the former brimming with talk of a mechanic shop where she might be able to finally find the compression coil before Inara just rolls her eyes and hands some of the money over to allow the perky mechanic to run off on her own.

"You coming?" Inara asks the two of the crew that remain and the one passenger. "I probably shouldn't be left to choose the food all by myself."

Simon chuckles slightly and he and River catch her up with Aden close behind. "Maybe not, but I probably still have a surgeon's budget in my head. Besides, I don't really have any requests or preferences."

"River, sweetie, what about you?" Inara asks.

"Strawberries," River replies, "For Kaylee." A cheeky and sheepish grin forms on her face. "And me."

Inara grins back. "Alright then, strawberries for a treat it is. And if we buy practical and cheap for the rest, we might have real food to last quite a while. What do you think, Simon, potatoes? Cheap and multipurpose."

"Potatoes," He repeats, nodding, "Yeah. Sure."

The spectacular beauty of a woman - and Aden almost blushes at having thought of her as such - laughs and gives Simon a funny look. "On second thought, maybe I probably could be trusted to do this on my own.

Simon looks relieved. "Yes, I think so. Don't get me wrong, I just - I'll eat whatever turns up on my plate that isn't protein. Besides, you have fantastic taste."

"Thank you," Inara laughs, "I'll catch you two soon. Don't wander too far and try not to lose Aden here, or the Captain might give you an earful." She walks away with the grace that doesn't match the plainness of the clothes she is wearing.

"Simon," Aden says suddenly, "Has she always been like that?"

Simon seems surprised to even hear her speak. "Huh? Inara? Like what?"

"You know...so pretty and graceful and not...ordinary…" Aden flounders with her words and can't verbalise her inherent admiration and awe. Luckily, Simon's eyes widen and he has apparently caught her meaning.

"Oh! Well, yes. She used to be a Companion. It's still weird to see her not dressed like royalty or...a Companion, I suppose."

"What's a Companion?"

At Aden's innocent question, River giggles from under her hood and Simon turns a very light shade of pink as his mouth opens and shuts several times.

"Well, um, like a...whore...I suppose, except not, much more respectable and trained and expensive…"

"What's a whore?"

Simon's face falls even further and he nervously twists his hands. "You know, I think you would be better asking Inara herself about this. She'd be more than happy to explain."

Aden nods. "Okay." Then, as an afterthought, she adds with a duck of her head, "Sorry for being so stupid. Don't know much about anything. Makes me curious, I guess. I don't mean to ask so many questions."

The look on Simon's face changes from awkwardness to confusion. "What? No, it's - it's fine! I'm just...not the best at explaining about...some things, I guess. Aden, don't ever -" His hand lifts to perhaps touch her shoulder but before Aden can even react, River's hand has darted out to grab it before it can get halfway. "- apologise...River, what are you doing?"

The siblings meet eyes and River's are intent as she forcibly lowers his hand back to his side. "No touching. She doesn't like the touching."

"What?"

"Aden. You were going to touch her shoulder but you can't. Doesn't like being touched."

Simon's eyes move back to Aden with interest and concern. "Is that true?"

But Aden is too busy staring at his sister. "How-" She sighs. "You know everything about me just by lookin', don't you?"

River shakes her head quickly. "Only the things you say loud. And this one you were screaming."

"Well, thanks, I guess," Aden says, almost reluctantly. She  _is_ grateful, incredibly so, but the whole business of River knowing so much is still disturbing and she can't shake the constant feeling of disconcertion.

"Sorry, Aden, I didn't know," Simon adds, smiling apologetically.

"It's okay. How could you?" 

He nods. "Well, what I was going to say before was: don't ever apologise for wanting to know things, and don't anyone ever make you feel bad for wanting to learn."

The statement throws her but she can't be entirely sure why. Maybe because no one has told her in so many words that she has the right to want to know things. For a moment she just stares at him before managing to reply, "Oh. Okay. Thanks."

That's when River catches sight of a jewellery stall and they are forced to follow and browse through the ornamented accessories that they could never buy. A considerable time later, Inara and Kaylee find them, Inara with bags of food and Kaylee sporting a cardboard box that no doubt contains her coveted new ship part.

"You guys been having fun?" Kaylee asks as she leans in to give Simon a peck on the lips.

"Just been looking at shiny things we have little use for and could never afford," he replies with an affectionate smile.

"One of my oldest pastimes."

"Jewellery and pointless shiny things," Inara muses, reaching her hand out to touch a beaded necklace, "You know, I think I have vague memories of those."

Kaylee and Simon laugh at her. "Regretting dropping the glamorous life of sex, money and pretty dresses?" The former asks.

Inara's smile is wistful for a fleeting second. "For my friends and my home? Not a chance."

"Plus it was worth it to see the Captain's face the first time you wore pants," Kaylee points out, and they all laugh.

"Yes," Inara agrees, "That was rather priceless. He'd probably never considered that I had legs."

Kaylee's look of disbelief and disagreement is plain, but she doesn't bother arguing. Aden can't help but wonder if this all has something to do with that 'something' she had sensed between Inara and Mal, the something River had described as their hearts singing for each other but being blocked by excuses.

The whole thing seems so confusing and complicated that Aden firmly decides to not even bother trying to understand.

"Shouldn't the others be back by now?" Simon suddenly asks, and flashes of concern cross some of the other faces in the group.

"Well, Badger has a bit of an edgy rep goin' by what the Captain and Zoe say, so he's probably just making trouble and delaying 'em," Kaylee says, a little nervously. "Should be okay, they know how to handle themselves. All the same, couldn't hurt to go back to the ship and wait outside."

So they all do just that, and have barely been there a minute when Jayne bursts from a throng of people in the distance.

"We got trouble!" He yells at them when he spots them. "Getting shot at! Mal and Zoe aren't far behind but we gotta go now!"

Almost all of them turn to River, the pilot, and the girl in the hood nods quickly and is about to turn and run into the ship when two armed men come into sight from the same spot Jayne had emerged from. The moment they spot him they begin firing shots in his general direction, which unfortunately happens to be the same direction as the rest of the crew. They all rush inside but not before several bullets hit home.

At the same time, Mal and Zoe come into view and manage to take down the two thugs before rushing into the ship with the rest of them and closing the door behind them.

"Mal, what the _jiàn tā de guǐ_  was that?" Inara demands as they finally are able to take a breather. But before Mal can even open his mouth to explain, he sees Jayne leaning over a thigh embedded with bullet, and Kaylee nearby grimacing over a mild wound in her upper arm with Simon already examining it.

" _Gǒushǐ_ ," he swears, but that's when River screams and they look where she is pointing, to Aden, who has been knocked to her knees and is clutching her stomach with a blood soaked hand.

The sandy haired girl lets out a jagged gasp and falls onto the floor.

"Simon!" River yells, her high-pitched voice hurting everyone's ears, "Simon, quick, you have to fix her!" Her dark eyes are wide and fretful, and Mal approaches her to put his hands firmly on her shoulders.

"River, you gotta fly us away from this place, right now. Your brother's not going to be letting anyone on this here ship be dying, so run along and when we're in the air, I'll come and relieve you.  _Dong ma_?" He says firmly, and gets a very reluctant nod in response. River sprints up the stairs that led up to the bridge while Mal turns to Simon who is kneeling at Aden's side. "Well, Doc, you'd better get her into the infirmary. You want help getting her in there?"

"No," Simon answers very quickly, "It's fine, I can manage." He hoists Aden, who's unconscious already from the blood loss, into his arms and slowly staggers to the infirmary with Kaylee's help. It's stupid of him to refuse Mal's help really, but after what River had told him, knowing about Aden's fear or dislike of being touched, it seems better to try and make it that only he has to touch the injured girl, being the doctor and all.

When she's settled on the bed, he grabs his kit and gets to work while simultaneously trying to forget the shrillness and desperation of River's scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Inara ends up giving a clueless Aden "the Talk". :P


	3. Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Aden makes progress on her issue with human contact and Inara fills her in on the birds and the bees.

When Kaylee pops back into the infirmary to see how it is all going, she sees River sitting on the ledge to the right, knees pulled up to her chest and her eyes fixed on the unmoving figure on the operating table. Simon is still bent over the injured girl, but Kaylee can see tight bandages and thinks she can see Aden's chest moving up and down slightly.

Only an hour since they were shot at, and Simon seems to have healed their passenger, or at least saved her life.

"How's it going in here?" Kaylee asks all the same, eyes lingering more on the younger Tam sibling. River doesn't even blink.

"She's not going to die," The brunette says simply, "Not in any shape to go anywhere though."

"That's okay, River, we ain't gonna kick her out til she can hold her own," Kaylee assures her quickly, coming to sit by her and put an arm around the girl's shoulders, "We wouldn't put an injured girl out into the world on her own."

"She understands a lot but knows nothing," River breathes quietly, again looking at the unconscious girl as if she were an open book, "I don't comprehend. It's the same, only different."

Kaylee smiles and gives her a nudge. "That ain't the same at all. She doesn't know anything and you know about almost all there is to know."

"But she's lost...and wandering…"

"River, sweetie, you ain't lost, you're right at home here on  _Serenity_."

"Home on  _Serenity_." River looks at one of her hands, holding it out and flexing it experimentally. "Two by two…two by two...two by two...not five thousand but just three. Now two, but one day it could be three again. A different third, though."

"Why're you so worried about Aden, sweetie?" Kaylee asks curiously.

"There's no one else."

"To worry about?"

"To worry for her. Never has been."

"River…" Simon warns from the infirmary table, "What did we decide about telling stranger's secrets to others?"

River snorts and looks at him as if he is an idiot. "Secrets. They're printed on her forehead as easy to read as  _Yī Èr Sān._ "

Kaylee and Simon share a lost look before the former speaks. " _Meimei,_ it's only like that for you."

"Doesn't make it incorrect," River says stubbornly, rolling her eyes.

* * *

When the world shifts from nothing to black to blur, Aden blinks to try and clear the image in her eyes. The tinkling hum in the back of her mind makes it difficult but manages to give her a firmer grip on consciousness all the same.

A minute later, her eyes are open and she's looking at River, who's sitting on the bench to her left. What she had thought was a tinkling hum is actually River's faint and airy singing.

" _My Bonnie lies over the ocean, my Bonnie lies over the sea…"_

It isn't a song she knows, but then she only knows a few hymns that would be sung back home, so it's not saying much. What is a 'bonnie'?

That's when Simon comes back into the infirmary and looks surprised but pleased to see her awake.

"Aden, how are you feeling?" He asks.

"My belly feels kinda funny, but I feel okay, Doctor Tam."

Simon's face takes on an expression that is a mix of relief and old exasperation. "Just Simon, remember?"

"Sorry. Simon."

"Now, I know that you don't like being touched, but I need to check your wound and put on clean bandages, and there's no way to do that without touching you," He says slowly, "So…"

River jolts back to attention from wherever her mind had been and she gets up to stand on the opposite of the table to Simon. Her hand stretches out towards Aden's limp arm, moving an inch at a time.

"What are you doing?" Simon and Aden ask in perfect unison. The same confusion and nervousness clouds their voices.

"I'm going slowly so you can stop me if you want," River says seriously, "But you need someone to hold your hand and then you won't notice Simon. It'll be nicer like that."

Aden opens and shuts her mouth a few times, not entirely sure what to say. It's a kind offer but she's just not sure that she wants anyone touching her just yet. But is there any choice? She'll have to start dabbling in physical contact sooner or later.

"Alright," Aden says quietly, eyes coming up to meet River's dark, dark ones. Her hand lifts up until there's only an inch between it and River's. "Just...softly, please?"

River just smiles and moves her hand the tiny distance needed. Her fingertips slide across Aden's forearm with the softness of rain and the static of night air before thunderstorms. Involuntarily, Aden takes in a sharp breath. Her eyes are fixed on the slow, feather light trail that ends with River's hand slipping into the curve of her's and just holding it.

"Um," Aden says, rather blankly, "...thanks."

The words make River laugh lightly and Aden joins her, just for a few moments.

"You okay?" Simon asks her, and she nods. "Are you alright for me to start changing the bandages?" She nods again. What seemed like a daunting thing a few minutes before no longer seems so bad.

Sure enough, the light pressure of Simon's professional touch is alien but inconsequential in comparison to the feel of River's hand in hers. River's hand is silky and small and warm and quite unlike any inanimate thing she's ever touched. Probably because she's physically attached to another living, breathing, thinking being and just the thought of it is strange.

It's not long before Simon is done and Aden is smiling and thanking him profusely. Kaylee and Inara come back in not long after and congratulate Simon on a good job as well as expressing that they're happy that Aden is okay. Kaylee after that practically drags Simon from the room, leaving the two teenagers with the ex-Companion.

Inara is looking at their joined hands with an expression that makes it look like she's noticed something, but Aden doesn't think she would understand the significance, with only Mal and the two Tams knowing about her lack of history with physical touch. All the same, Inara smiles at them as if they've just told her a secret.

"River, we're still holding hands," Aden tells the brunette as she realises, and River just giggles under her breath and leans down to half whisper in her ear.

"I know," She says as if it's a conspiracy in itself. "We forgot to stop. Do you want to?"

Aden doesn't actually even know if she does want to stop, but thinks it might be best to not have too much of what is apparently a good thing. Especially a good thing she hasn't had for as long as she can remember. Hesitantly and somewhat reluctantly, their hands detach and River's falls limply back down to her side.

"If you two are fine, then I might leave you to it," Inara says to them after silently watching the whole exchange. She turns to leave and begins to walk out the door.

"Um, Inara," Aden calls after her, making her stop and turn back around, "Simon said you could probably explain to me what a Companion is, because you used to be one. He said it was like a whore, but a different kind, but I don't know what that is either. Is it a bad thing? Because I feel like I might have heard it mentioned once, but in a bad way."

Inara's face becomes almost clouded and even more difficult to read. River meanwhile slowly drifts towards the infirmary door.

"I should get back to the bridge," the prodigy murmurs, and slips out without so much as a farewell or a 'see you later'. After watching her leave, Inara sits on the bench to Aden's left with an amused look on her face.

"So Simon pointed you my way?"

"Yes. He seemed embarrassed when I asked him to explain."

Inara laughs, and the action only serves to make her even more beautiful than she already was. Again, Aden has to try not to blush. "Well, there isn't too much to explain. A whore is somebody who exchanges sex for money. They are professionals who get paid to have sex with people who would rather buy the experience. Companions are similar to whores, except we would be expertly trained in all manner of disciplines, and we require a license to practice."

That doesn't clear much up for Aden. "What's sex?" The look of bewilderment on Inara's face is rather funny to Aden, especially how her mouth even drops open half an inch before she manages to look dignified once again.

"Oh sweetie," Inara finally says, her voice sounding like that of an adult talking to a child. It's a tone Aden is familiar with, but hadn't experienced much on  _Serenity_. "You know, I think you and I need to have a proper talk. But maybe once you're better. You can come to my shuttle and I can try to explain. But didn't they teach you anything where you came from? About what people who love each other do? About what married people do and where babies come from?"

Aden dumbly shakes her head. "They didn't say much about any of that. Said we didn't need to know about what bein' married meant until we were married. Said that they didn't want us getting ideas. Except I think they wanted me to like boys and men and I never have, not in the way they seemed to talk about, even if I still don't know what that way is exactly."

"You just like girls?"

"I like boys just fine, but there's somethin' different about girls, because girls are so...I dunno, sometimes they would make my stomach feel all funny. And then there's girls like you."

Inara lifts an eyebrow. "Like me how?"

"Like their faces were painted by angels or somethin'," Aden blurts out before covering her mouth with her hands, "Sorry. You're so pretty I forget what I'm saying sometimes. But you don't make my stomach feel funny, I just think you're beautiful."

"Well, thank you," Inara says gracefully, smiling and not seeming to be worried by the comment, "But can I guess that River makes you get butterflies in your stomach?"

Aden frowns to think about it like that. "I suppose it is a bit like butterflies, yeah. And it does seem to happen around River. At first I thought I wasn't sure about whether I liked being around her or not, her being a reader and all, but now I know I do. There's just...something about her."

"But you don't know what any of it means, do you?" Inara guesses, and Aden shakes her head hopelessly.

"No, and it seems like I should."

"When you're up and about again, I'll do my best to explain it."

"Thanks, Inara," Aden says as the ex-Companion gets up to leave, "Really. But...but you won't tell anyone about River and the butterflies, will you? I just...I just feel like I don't anyone to know, since I don't even really know what it means yet."

"Of course," Inara assures her, smiling gently back at her, "Your secret is safe with me. But if it makes you feel any better, I think she feels the same way about you." She smiles wryly. "It's no secret that she's somewhat fascinated by you."

As Inara leaves, Aden settles herself back on her pillow and smiles to herself.

* * *

A few uneventful days later, Aden is back on her feet and just having to tread gently. It's strangely nice to be able to take her meals with the crew again.

"S' probably best if we don't head back to Persephone for a little while," Mal says, half to Aden and half to everyone else, "Don't think we're entirely welcome there with some folk. Sorry that it happened before we could get you on your way."

Aden just shrugs. "It's okay, Captain. I think every hour I spend on this ship, more I learn that I need to know about the 'verse and life in it. You all know so much about so many things."

"For a lot of us, it is or was our job to know those things," Inara says, and Kaylee and Simon nod in agreement.

"Well, I think it's nice you're sticking around," Kaylee says warmly as she smiles at Aden, "Especially now that you're less afraid of talkin'."

"Maybe that bullet knocked some courage into me," Aden replies, making a few of them laugh. Not River. River, a few seats down, frowns deeply and starts shaking her head, muttering under her breath all the while. It isn't until Simon warily places a hand on her arm that she settles and smiles at him.

"Everything okay down there?" Mal asks, and the two Tam siblings nod. "Good."

Dinner finishes without anything eventful happening. Kaylee approaches Aden and goes to touch her on the shoulder, only for Aden to flinch away despite everything that had happened in the infirmary a few days before.

"Sorry," Aden blurts, "I just...I'm sorry. Especially since you were so nice lending me some of your clothes."

Kaylee's brief confusion and rejection immediately gives way into her usual cheeriness. "Well, I don't get much reason to wear some of these dresses, so until we can stop and either drop you off or get some stuff just for you, these suit you just fine."

The blue dress reaches just above Aden's knees and has some lovely patterns on it, but it doesn't look fancy and Aden actually likes it like that. She also likes how it ties up behind her neck and leaves her arms bare like the shirts she would wear at home. She likes being able to feel her hair on her shoulders. She's not so sure that her old clompy boots from back home entirely go with it, but they're all she has.

"Thanks again for this," Aden says, and Kaylee just nods, smiles, and links arms with Simon as the two of them head out. River is nowhere to be seen and Aden is about to head back to her room when she finds Inara standing nearby.

"Did you want to have that talk now?" Inara asks, and Aden realises that she definitely wants to, because she hates not knowing things and there's so much she doesn't know.

"Yes please," She says quickly. Inara gestures for her to follow and they walk down the corridor and along the walkways until they come into her shuttle. It's decorated in red and silks, with a lingering but very faint smell of incense.

Inara gestures to the lounge seat. "Have a seat. Make yourself at home." She looks around. Her flowy shirt and pants don't quite match up with the luxury of their surroundings. "I don't know why I spend some of my last pay on making this place look like this again. It just seemed like a good idea. I can't even pay the rent for this anymore, but Mal just…" She laughs a little. "I don't know. Pretends like nothing has changed."

"Why did you stop being a Companion?"

"I...I needed a change. And stopping meant I never had to leave  _Serenity_." The two of them sit, close but with enough room that Aden isn't uncomfortable. Inara notices how the girl's eyes fix on the space between them. "Aden, do you have a problem with touching other people?"

Aden frowns. "Not a problem, exactly...I'm just not used to it. At all. What you saw, me and River a few days back, that was the first time I'd touched someone for as long as I can remember, 'cept when the Captain did it by accident. But he realised right away and let go. He's good like that. Looks after people."

Inara smiles. "Yes. He does." She gets up and starts making tea, which seems like an odd thing to do, but then what would Aden know? "Now, Aden, what you have to realise is that for a girl your age to not know what sex is, is very unusual. Most people hear of it, if not from parents or guardians then by vulgar word of mouth from people around them. But you've clearly lived a very sheltered life so it almost makes sense, given how many others things you've never heard of before. But sex is a fundamental part of human existence, so it's important that you know about it. And it's possibly best that you learn this from me, because it's my area of expertise. Kaylee said you're from a religious community, which means that they would have probably given you a very narrow and unhealthy portrayal of it."

"Okay," Aden says, unsure what else to say just yet.

"Also, something just occurred to me. You've been told so little...do you even know what men have between their legs?" Seeing Aden's lack of comprehension, Inara laughs as she pours the tea. "Well, I imagine you know what you have between your legs. Almost all women have the same. But almost all men have something different. Of course, you're interested in women so I suppose I don't really need to go into that. Just know they're different. And a lot of the time, romance will happen between a man and a woman. But not all the time, sometimes two women or two men will fall in love, and that's just as normal, just a little less common."

"Alright, makes sense so far."

"Pairings between men and women are more common because when they have sex, their different bodies can make babies."

"Oh." Aden felt her eyes widen a little. "That makes a lot of sense, actually. But what does having sex actually...you know...mean? I get that it's what you would do, and you got paid for it, but..."

"Well," Inara says, passing Aden a tiny cup of tea, "The mechanics of it are pretty simple, but different depending on who is involved. When it's men and women…" She launches into a brief and concise explanation that has Aden choking just a little bit on her tea and making an incredulous face.

"Really? That sounds just plain weird," She says honestly, and something about the complete innocent sincerity in her tone makes Inara laugh, so hard she has to cover her mouth. Aden can't help but eventually join in until the two of them are in complete hysterics just in time for Mal to come in and stare at them like they're aliens.

Unfortunately, given their topic of discussion and just how much Aden had learnt about men in the ten minutes previous, his appearance only makes the whole thing worse. Aden's laugh turns into helpless squeaking, which changes the curiosity in Mal's face into complete bewilderment.

"What the hell is this?" He asks, but Inara just keeps laughing. About twenty seconds later, Aden can compose herself long enough to form a reply.

"Sorry, Captain, Inara and I were just...talkin' and you came in at a real bad time," She admits, chewing on her nail sheepishly, "We didn't mean nothin' by it." When he doesn't look like he believes her, she insists, "Promise."

Inara just nods several times, still trying to get her giggles under control. "We're fine, Mal."

"Well," He says hesitantly, "Alright then. I was just...checkin'."

"You can go now, Mal," Inara says pointedly, as if she still owns the shuttle, "This is a private discussion."

Aden tries to hide her shocked expression at Inara's lack of care for Mal's authority. But all it takes is another look at Inara before they are giggling as he stalks out, shaking his head and muttering about 'gorram crazy women and mutiny on his boat'.

"So, Inara, if most girls like men, but some girls like girls...what do you like?" Aden thinks she likes Mal, and River seems to think so too, but Aden knows very little about all this and River's...well...half crazy for want of a better word.

"I like both," Inara says simply. "In the end, for me it's really about the person, and not what's between their legs."

Aden nods. "That makes sense. But if men and woman...fit together...then how does it work with two men or two women?"

"Do you really want or need to know how it works with men?" Inara asks with another lifted eyebrow, and Aden reconsiders, shaking her head and blushing.

"Actually, no, not really. But with girls...um...yes."

So Inara launches into another explanation about something similar but mechanically different, something that certainly sounds less utterly bizarre but still strange and blush-worthy.

"And the other part of all this that you need to understand that there are many different meanings to it. Some people only have sex within marriage, others only when they're in love. But some people do it just because it's enjoyable and they'll do it with a stranger," Inara tells her.

Aden just blinks. "People do  _that_ with strangers?" She asks flatly.

"Sometimes. Jayne, for example, never does it with anyone but strangers, to my knowledge," Inara says, making a face that strongly suggests she'd rather think about anything  _but_ Jayne doing such things.

"Well, I don't think I'd ever want to do it unless it was with someone I really…" Aden shrugs. "And if I knew they felt the same about me."

"And you have a crush on River."

"A crush?" Aden twists her hair in her fingers and pulls a thoughtful face. "Is that what it's called?"

"When you like somebody in the way that turns your stomach inside out?" Inara laughs. "Yes. It's not love, because love is deeper and vastly more complicated." The face she pulls makes Aden wonder if perhaps she and River are right about her and Mal. Her words seem just a little bit too knowledgeable and her relationship with Mal seems like it could fit her description. "A crush comes before that. Sometimes it just fizzles out and nothing happens, and sometimes it turns into more."

"Well, I think I might have a real little crush on River," Aden says anxiously, laughing slightly, "But no one except for you needs to know that, and that's only because you knew before I did."

"No one else needs to know, don't worry, I won't be saying anything."

"Besides, there's always the chance that I'll only be here for a little while longer," The youngster points out, "So like you said, could just be nothin'."

"It could just be a passing fancy for a pretty girl who shows an interest, that's true, and you're right, you'll probably be gone soon," Inara agrees, "But I feel like I should say that in the case of the tiny possibility of anything happening between you and River, a sexual relationship like that which I described might not be possible."

Aden has to think about it, just for a second. "Because of the way she is."

Inara nods, her eyes soft and solemn. "In many ways, she's a child. Even physically she's only just surpassed that. But mentally? She's unstable, vulnerable, and in many ways incredibly young. Which makes sex a delicate issue."

"But it doesn't have to be, not with me," Aden immediately says, her voice earnest, "No matter who it was, I'd want to wait til I was sure I wanted it, or wait until I knew if I wanted it at all, cos I'm not so sure I even do. River being the way she is wouldn't matter to me at all, I'd just be what she needed."

"You know," Inara replies with a warm smile, "Anyone else and they would think this conversation was strange, seeing as you and River barely know each other and even the speculation of this should be absurd. But I was trained in this, and I pay attention. You two watch each other without realising, and River mentions you frequently when you're not in the room, just for a moment. And when I saw you two in the infirmary...well let's just say that I felt like I was intruding on something incredibly...private. I can tell just by the way you look at her that you think highly of her."

"It's just the way she moves, and talks...it's like nothing I've seen before, and I don't think I'll ever meet someone like her again. But that's a thing to think about some other day. Thanks, Inara, but I should get some sleep." Aden gets up and so does Inara. The latter lifts a hand, as if to offer some friendly touch before remembering to think the better of it. "Maybe if I…" Aden lifts her own hand, and very consciously places it on the corner of Inara's shoulder, just for a moment. "See? I'm learning."

She and Inara share smiles before Aden thanks her again and leaves the shuttle. She half expects River to be circling outside like an owl, but when she creeps back to the area where she and the Tams have their quarters, she can see River sleeping deeply away through a crack in the door.

Perhaps tomorrow, the two of them can play some sort of game together. That might be fun, and it would be worth it just to see River laugh, just once.


	4. Two By Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which River and Aden act like five year olds, and Mal and Inara do what they should have done a long time ago.

While the knowledge from Inara is certainly helpful in the extreme, the utterly bizarre nature of it and its apparent normality means that Aden knows it will be a while yet before the idea of it will settle properly in her head.

That means that when she sees Kaylee and Simon returning from the engine room with their clothes disheveled, her mind is unable to stop itself from imagining them doing exactly what Inara had told her men and women do.

To make it worse, they catch her staring, and she flees up to the runways with burning red cheeks to watch them giggle and continue on their way.

"They're very happy together," a voice says from next to her, and Aden knows it is River even before she turns. She doesn't think she could ever mistake River's voice for someone else's, and no one else could sneak up on her. Aden had gotten very good at dodging people and being attuned to her surroundings back when not being found by the Elders had been her constant priority. Of course, River is something else entirely.

"Yeah, it's nice," Aden agrees. She smiles at the brunette who is standing within arms reach.

"They've been copulating," River adds, and Aden feels herself go red again. She's only ever heard the term in reference to animals before, but it isn't hard to understand the human application.

"...I know."

River makes a funny snorting noise. "It's quite ridiculous. Mutual stimulation at the pleasure centres at the nether regions to reach a climax."

Aden's mouth drops open. "Inara didn't explain it quite like that," she mumbles. River just nods.

"It's a conundrum," she says, obviously rather eager to be able to explain, "It should be simple biology, a pleasurable but casual process. Instead we get the endorphins and our brains spiral out of control with love and other problematic emotions." Even amongst the words which intrigue Aden's brain, she can't help but momentarily think about how River's frown just then is adorable.

"You think love is problematic?"

"It makes people irrational," River says matter-of-factly, "It's dangerous."

"But it's still a good thing."

River's lips twitch and the knowing look in her eyes makes Aden's belly do somersaults. "Yes. Very much." The girl immediately turns and heads back towards the bridge, leaving a befuddled Aden in her wake.

* * *

At dinner, Aden situates herself next to Inara more out of instinct than anything else, and is pleased when the glamorous woman flashes her a warm smile before turning her attention back to her already fully fledged conversation with Mal. It sounds both playful and affectionate and Aden has to wonder if there's a word for that. It wouldn't be surprising - there are many new words she has to learn.

"This kid needs to give it a rest or I'm going to have bruises," Zoe meanwhile complains while rubbing her swollen belly.

"She's just excited," River chirps as she glides into the seat next to Aden, "She can hear the singing and wants to join in."

"I'm not much of a singer," Zoe says, and River shakes her head, giggling at some joke only she understands until the pregnant woman properly processes the girl's words. "Hold on, you saying you know my baby's a girl?"

River's expression shifts to mischievous and she pointedly starts putting potatoes on her plate, humming under her breath while everyone else stares between her and Zoe silently. That is, until Aden giggles, just once. Then everyone at the same time dissolves into easy laughter about the entire thing.

"I've been annoyed for weeks that I didn't have the technology to let you know, and here my sister could have apparently saved me the trouble!" Simon says, shooting his usual fond but exasperated look at River, who just smirks.

"Not so sure I wanted to know," Zoe says.

"...I'm still teaching her to shoot," Jayne puts in, "Moment she's old enough."

Zoe shoots him a murderous look. "No." But the excitement of an imminent baby girl is too much and soon she is quietly grinning with Mal and Kaylee as they discuss potentially shopping for baby supplies at next port.

"At least I'm not the only one who can't make sense of you," Aden says to River, "That makes me feel better."

She expects the other girl to laugh or look pleased, but instead she gets a tiny frown and tense muttering. "Blind and dumb, born and live and die knowing nothing, paper bags over their eyes, don't understand, never understand, can't  _hear_."

River's sudden distress alarms Aden and makes her feel instantly guilty, especially when Simon notices how River bends over the table and rams her fingers in her ears and hums a song that sounds like 'Three Blind Mice'.

"River? What's wrong?"

Aden almost wants to cry, but is adept enough at keeping herself blank. She can't keep the worry out of her entirely, though. "I think it was me, sorry, I just said somethin' to her and I think she took it wrong." When the rest of the crew turn to look at her (and River who is singing loudly by this point) Aden rises from the table. "I'm sorry!"

She flees from the room and vaguely hears Kaylee checking River with Simon before being asked by the latter to follow Aden, which only makes Aden all the more determined to lock herself in her little room. Unfortunately, Kaylee is just as spry and knows the ship better, and Aden finds the lightest touch on her shoulder and flinches.

"Sorry," Kaylee says immediately, eyes apologetic, "Simon told me about how y'are."

"S'okay," Aden murmurs, "I'm getting a little better."

"Simon just wanted me to tell ya that it wasn't your fault, River goin' weird like that," Kaylee tells her sincerely, "We can never be sure what's gonna send her into a - well, whatever it is she does."

"Or maybe someone should just pay more attention," Aden says with a frown, distress still tugging at her heart. "I didn't think about it, but I can see why she might have been upset by what I said."

Kaylee makes a sympathetic face. "Well, if you really wanna, you could always apologise and see if it helps. But come back to dinner, Simon's probably got her calmed down by now."

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry anymore," Aden says quietly before turning and heading to her room regardless of feeling a fraction better about the whole thing.

* * *

It isn't until hours later that the need to apologise is overwhelming. Aden pulls her blanket around her thin set of pyjamas and slips out of her room. It's hard to have a middle of the night in space, but Aden is fairly sure they are in it now. The ship is silent and empty but for herself and the wheezing of the engine. Her bare feet pad along the harsh metal floor until she reaches the bridge.

"Little Cat's out of bed," River says without turning from the helm in front of her.

"I...I came to apologise."

"I know."

 _Of course you do_ , thinks Aden, with a mixture of exasperation and something akin to but milder than fondness. "Then you know I mean it."

River makes a clicking noise with her tongue, still not looking at her. "You don't understand anything, least of all the broken girl. She can understand complex astrophysics but can't make sense."

There's something in the way she says 'broken' that yanks on Aden's heartstrings. "Broken?"

"Government cut up her brain, tried to understand, to control," River murmurs, "But once you break the toy it's no good." The brunette girl's voice cracks and Aden comes closer until she can look across and see tears glistening in her eyes.

"River," Aden breathes, her voice cracking because she's not quite sure what to do with someone who's upset but there's a  _tug_  to help and comfort that seems like the right reaction. Besides, seeing River upset somehow makes her the same and she knows she isn't going to feel cheerful until she sees River smiling and happy again. "You're not broken." With a moment's deliberation, Aden slowly places her hand on River's bare shoulder. The other girl's head snaps towards where their skin touches - Aden knows that she is immediately aware of Aden being the one to initiate physical contact and the significance of that.

"Aden," is all River says, with a large frown and conflicted expression that suggests she isn't quite sure how to vocalise her thoughts. It becomes clearer with every second to Aden that River speaks nonsense because half the time it's her sense and that trying to organise her thoughts for the sake of being understood has to be exhausting.

"I'm not gonna pretend to know about brain cuttin' or whatever you said happened to you," Aden says to her with surprising firmness, eyes finally being met by River's dark ones, "But you're not a toy, you're a person. And I could be wrong but I reckon you're too strong to be broken like a doll." River gives her a look that is plainly disbelieving and a little patronising, so Aden holds her gaze and crouches so that their faces are roughly level. "River," Aden's voice is so soft that she for a moment fears that River won't be able to make the words out, "I don't think you're broken. I think you're amazing."

River's face is so neutral that it is impossible to read. But her eyes are intense and have Aden frozen and captivated even as River's hand gently takes Aden's from her shoulder to give it a tiny squeeze. Their joined hands linger between them, almost but not quite resting on the arm of the pilot seat that separates them. As they pull away it is slow enough that Aden can feel every part of River's hand and fingers sliding across her palm before falling away into emptiness.

After a few seconds of poignant silence, River whispers, "Your opinion has been noted."

It sounds like a scientist's report, but from what she knows of River, Aden understands how it might be an easier response for her to form than whatever is going on in her apparently damaged brain. Aden just gives her the smallest of smiles and gets to her feet.

"Do you want me to go now?" She asks. Bed is probably the wiser option but if for some reason River wants her to stay she knows she will.

"Staying would compromise digestion," River replies, facing back towards the open starry sky in front of her.

"Huh?"

"Food for thought."

"Okay," Aden says, pretending to understand. She exits the bridge with the hope that she isn't imagining the ground she thinks they've just gained.

* * *

While the main crew are working out just where to land next, Aden is peeking into the engine room in Kaylee's absence when a singular finger taps her on the shoulder and makes her jump.

"Are you brave enough?" River asks her with a grin.

"For what?"

"For tag, silly."

Aden recalls watching some of the youngest children of her old home playing chase amongst themselves before being scolded by the elders. A gut feeling tells her that 'tag' is the name of the game.

"Why would I need to be brave?"

"Touching," River says, her fingertip lightly brushing Aden's shoulder to make her point, "It's necessary for the game." The minuscule contact is still foreign to Aden, but somehow in a pleasant way because it's River.

Aden nods slowly. "That's okay. I don't mind it so much when it's you."

"I know."

Aden laughs, surprising herself but not River. "Of course you do. Think you know me better than I know me."

"It's quite a definite possibility," River says seriously. She tilts her head to the side and her face splits into a grin. "You're it!" With that, she spins in a half pirouette and bolts in the opposite direction.

So Aden takes a deep breath and begins to chase her. They sprint through the corridors and along the runways, past a laughing Kaylee and a puzzled Simon. Aden leaps down the stairs a flight at a time, the jumps much easier than the rock formations of home.

When she reaches the cargo bay floor, River is leaning against a wall and giggling. "You're good," she says.

"You're incredible."

"She's River," Kaylee calls from up on the runways, "You never had a chance against her."

"We'll see," Aden replies, and begins to move in on River. Just when she thinks she might be close enough to lunge in and tag her, the other girl launches herself into the air with such expertise that she lands on the other side of Aden and takes off into the common area, past Jayne, who just crumbles and mutters under his breath.

"Told ya," Kaylee laughs, and Aden just grins and runs after her playmate.

Again, River is waiting, lounging around by the med bay door, eyes welcoming. "Come get me," she says.

"I'm trying!" When she approaches this time, River doesn't try to run, even though Aden knows she could. Aden's hand lands on her arm fleetingly before she turns on her heel and runs up the stairs next to them. "You're it!"

They rush past Mal, who yells after them to slow down and mind his boat and crew.

"Yessir Captain Tightpants!" River answers and the words don't seem to be quite be her and Aden makes a note to ask about it later. It doesn't take long for River to corner her against the wall of the spare shuttle, which has unhelpfully remained locked.

Aden presses herself against the cold metal, as if somehow it will get her away from her pursuer. River comes so close that she is on the step below Aden's, and she stands on her tip toes to make up for the height difference. She laughs soundlessly through her wide grin and the breath she exhales in the progress warms Aden's cheeks.

"I will always catch you," she tells Aden triumphantly. Then she taps her on the hand and they are off again, laughing all the while. It takes another twenty minutes for Aden to tag her back, because this time River doesn't go easy.

Finally, with River backed into a corner of the med bay, Aden takes the chance to say, "And  _I_  will always catch  _you._ " Then, she allows herself to pant because River is  _fast_. "But I can't keep this up. I need a drink."

The game is postponed and the two of them head towards the dining area, only to be distracted by voices coming from Inara's shuttle. River, ever the curious mouse, approaches the open doorway and Aden follows a poor reflex and does the same. They crouch so that they can see in without being very visible themselves.

Mal and Inara are the ones in there talking, in low tones that somehow make Aden feel like they shouldn't be listening in. Despite the feeling, it's so intriguing and she knows so little that she can't pass up a chance to learn something.

"Why did you really stop?" Mal asks with his back to them, and Inara's eyes flash with something before it disappears.

"I told you, I wanted a change."

"You loved your job, you could have easily picked it back up, continued like before."

"What do you want me to say, Mal?" Inara demands, her voice passionate and pleading.

"I don't know," he says simply, and her face contorts with a mixture of anger and sadness that Aden can't quite understand, and the glamorous woman throws her hands up.

"Well, thank you for being as helpful as ever!"

Aden turns to ask River if they should leave, but before she can, and probably because she sensed it before it happened, River reaches an arm around the back of her head to cover Aden's mouth with her hand. They stay as still as children encountering a bee, wide eyes fixed on the scene in front of them.

"I think I deserve to know, I'm giving you this shuttle for free, meaning I'm your captain now," Mal points out, "So I want to know why."

"You're not my captain," Inara breathes, and there's more meaning behind the words than there should be.

Mal takes a step closer, so that the two are only inches apart, and says, in a low and smooth tone, "Aren't I?" For a few moments the two of them just stare at each other, drinking each other in with their eyes. Then they're kissing. Or, at least, by description alone Aden thinks they are.

The only kisses Aden has seen have been between Simon and Kaylee, but they hardly seem to be the same thing at all. With Simon and Kaylee, the kissing is easy and light and the affection practically shines out of them. It's simple.

Mal and Inara aren't shining - they're smoldering. This kissing isn't sweet and simple and nice to watch. It's  _hungry_ and rough, like they will die if they stop, and Aden feels her cheeks getting warm. It doesn't seem like a thing that is meant to be seen by the eyes of outsiders. Inara moans into Mal's mouth and his hands are seeking out every part of her body that he can reach.

"Time to go," River whispers in her ear at the same time that her hand slips into hers, and Aden can only nod with relief as they slowly retreat and then run to the dining area which is conveniently deserted. "They finally got rid of the wool."

"What?"

"The wool in their brains. They gave in to what was in their hearts," she says, as if it is something so definable.

Aden frowns, her cheeks still burning. It doesn't help that she can still remember with perfect clarity the strange proximity of crouching with River outside the shuttle, and somehow she thinks the memory might keep her awake at night. Someone touching her, and that someone being River, while watching Mal and Inara kiss like that...it's an odd sensation that isn't going to leave her thoughts any time soon, especially with River's hand still being loosely linked with hers even though they've stopped running. This whole idea of physical intimacy is so encompassing, it makes her dizzy just trying to keep track of it all.

But of course, that's when Simon comes in and asks them, "What have you two been up to, then?" His voice is cheery enough, but his curiosity underneath is strong, even Aden can tell. She's not bothered by it, it comes from his concern for River, and that is a trait she could never condemn in the slightest. All the same, she makes the smallest movement which results in River's hand falling from hers, even if she's not sure why she doesn't want Simon to see them touching.

River grins impishly at her brother. "Played tag. Aden's fast."

"Not fast enough," Aden mutters, and Simon chuckles, his crooked smile emerging.

"I'd almost be concerned if you were," he says. "Zoe says that you should get back to the bridge, since Mal doesn't seem to be around."

River and Aden exchange the tiniest of glances and River bites her lip to keep from grinning. "Time to be the Albatross." She follows Simon to the doorway.

Aden almost calls out a farewell, or a 'see you later', but decides against it and shuts her mouth as they leave. Simon gives her a tiny, friendly smile, but she can't help but wonder if he'd still smile at her if he knew about the odd feelings in her that all converge on his precious sister.

That, she decides, is a problem for tomorrow. Or the day after.


	5. Complicated

_Everything was fine the way it was_

_Normal and ordinary_

_Then there was you, so randomly too_

_And now you're staring at me_

_No one can choose who they fall for_

_Or when they fall, or how they fall, or why_

_I, well I fell for you and I must wait_

_it's only a matter of time_

_I will wait for you my darling_

_and I will wait for you_

**I Will Wait For You - Us The Duo**

* * *

Just how Aden finds herself in the dining room alone and having a conversation with Jayne, she can't be sure. One would think that she would be used to not understanding things since it's over half of her entire state of existence, but the longer she spends on  _Serenity_ the more it's starting to get annoying. She wants to not feel stupid, she wants to comprehend everything around her.

(At a later date it would be explained to her that  _no one_ ever comprehends everything and most people are confused by someone else for some reason or another.)

"So you were stuck out with some nutty religious folk?" Jayne asks her while gnawing on a strip of dry meat and leaning against one of the walls.

"Yeah."

"That must've sucked royal ass."

What exactly that means, Aden has no idea, but his meaning is clear enough. "Yeah."

"And they didn't even tell ya what sex was, that's just plain sad," he says, shaking his head with some expression close to genuine sympathy.

Shock fills her. "What? How do you know about that?"

Jayne just shrugs. "Something 'Nara was saying."

"She...told you about that?"

"Nah, overheard her mentioning it to Mal. She'd never tell me anything like that. Too private."

Aden frowns but nods a little, rubbing her arm as she tries to decide how to feel about the new information but comes up blank. "Yeah, well," she eventually says, "She...cleared it all up."

When he grins, there's something about it that makes her a little uncomfortable. "Yeah, I bet. What I wouldn't give t'ave been a fly on the wall for  _that_. But now you can get yourself a man,  _qíngrén_!"

"Don't call her that, Jayne, it's all kinds of wrong," Mal interrupts as he comes through the door and down the small steps. "And Aden, don't you be letting him, you hear me?"

Aden blinks at the forceful finger he's pointing in her direction and nods to appease him as fast as she can. "Yes Captain."

Jayne groans. "Hell, Mal, I didn't mean nothing by it!"

"Should hope not," Mal says sharply, "She's eighteen, and while some find that to be an acceptable age to be doing whatever they like with whoever they like, I don't-"

"I like  _girls_!" Aden cries at the top of her voice, surprising them both immensely.

After a moment, Jayne just grins again, in a similar way to before, as he says, "Nice." She crosses her arms at him but looks over her shoulder at the captain.

Mal just nods, a tiny twitch at the corner of his lips, "Well alright then."

"And I don't even want girls touching me in the way we were discussin', so if you think I'd-"

"I wasn't thinking much of anythin'," Mal assures her, "It ain't none of my business, but keepin' Jayne in line is. Had to be sure he weren't bothering you."

"...he wasn't bothering me," she says after a moment's deliberation on it, "He was just bein'...himself. I think."

Jayne doesn't seem entirely sure of whether she's complimenting him or not, but at least has sensed that she's defended him, so he nods in gratitude.

"Good," Mal says. "What I like to hear."

A scream from outside of the room has the trio looking at each other with alarm and hurrying into the main body of the ship to see River crouching on the floor of the cargo bay with her hands in her head. She's the source of the noise. Simon is at her side, trying to stroke her back but only being swatted away.

"What's wrong with her?" Aden asks Mal worriedly from where they are staring down from the runaways.

"She's still a sick girl," he replies, his eyes showing considerable more concern than his words, "Likely always will be. She has her bad days."

Jayne grunts. "She's a gorram fruitcake." When Aden and Mal turn accusing eyes on him, he hastily adds, "But...it ain't her fault. I guess."

When River lets out another scream and the sound fills the ship, Aden can't just stand above and watch. She races down the stairs and stops only when Simon spots her and holds a hand out in what is clearly a sign to halt.

"You should probably stay back," he tells her with a large frown, before his attention goes back to his beloved sister.

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall…"

Knowing that it's stupid but unable to shake the gut instinct that it's what she has to do, Aden runs to River and kneels in front of her, ignoring Simon's protests considering that he's only just successfully gotten an arm around her shoulders.

"River," she says, ducking her head to try and see River's face that is currently tilted to the floor, "River, what's wrong?"

"All the King's horses," River chokes as she lifts her head to look Aden in the eye. Her brown eyes are filled with tears and the girl's entire face is crumbling. It makes Aden want to cry herself. "And all the King's men…"

Aden reaches her hand out, just in case the other girl wants to take it, and River eyes it for a moment before gripping it so hard that Aden can't stop herself from flinching.

"Couldn't put Humpty together again." River's whisper is practically inaudible. That's when she looks down at their joined hands and frowns only to drop Aden's like a hot potato, probably due to realising that she'd been hurting her. "Too many pieces, sharp pieces that cut anything that gets too-"

"The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout," Aden begins to sing on a whim, in a voice that isn't confident or particularly pretty but can at least carry the weak tune, and River's entire body goes still at the same time that Simon looks at her with bemusement. "Down came the rain and washed the spider out…" Aden's hands reach out to brush River's hair behind her ears and as she sings the next line River slowly looks up. "Out came the sun-"

"And dried up all the rain," River sings, voice so soft and melodic that Aden falters and almost doesn't sing the final line with her. "And the itsy bitsy spider crawled up the spout again."

They sit in silence for a good ten seconds, Simon watching them watch each other, and River's expression seems torn between distress and diffusion.

"River, even when it's rainin' right on you and it won't stop no matter what, fact is the sun's gotta come out sometime," Aden tells her friend, who finally gives her the tiniest of smiles, just for a second. "I used to think the clouds weren't ever gonna clear, but when I was so busy runnin' from them that I ended up here, they did."

"Thank you, Aden, but I think I can take it from here," Simon interrupts, turning River to face him and making it clear that she is no longer needed or wanted. She doesn't think he means to be so blunt about it, and so tries to push down the rather new feeling of rejection that takes up home in her chest. After all, his sister is sick and he as the doctor obviously knows the most about that. He needs space to help her and not interferences from a near stranger with no medical knowledge whatsoever.

Aden slowly gets to her feet, and has to watch with a lump in her throat when River's face crumbles as she turns back to her brother.

"No,  _no_ ," the brunette says, shaking her head helplessly. Her dark eyes are shining with new tears and Aden can't watch without feeling sick to the stomach, so she runs to the common area with the intention of sitting on one of the seats there, but finds herself bumping into Zoe and Inara instead.

"What's going on? We heard screaming," Inara asks Aden, and a shrill cry from the cargo bay only makes the girl cringe.

"River's - I don't know, I don't understand," Aden whispers. "Captain said she was having a bad day. Is this normal for her?"

The two dark haired women share a look, and Zoe shrugs. "As normal as anything with River is."

Inara reaches out to touch Aden on the shoulder when she sees the girl's upset expression. At the last second, she remembers to retract it. "Sweetie...I know it seems bad, but Simon knows how to look after her, as much as anyone ever will. She's in good hands." Inara's eyes hold compassion, as she's the only one who knows about the exact nature of Aden's concern. "In a few hours she'll probably be fine."

"River told me that the Alliance cut into her brain," Aden says bluntly. "It's why she's like this, isn't it? They hurt her."

"Yeah," Zoe replies, narrowing her eyes, "She told you that?"

"Yeah. And I ain't never had a reason to care two rats in any direction about the Alliance, but now..." Aden frowns, more to herself than them. "I think I'm angry. I don't know if I've ever really been angry before."

"Stick around on this ship long enough, Aden, and you'll find reasons aplenty to hate the Alliance. Captain would likely give most of them to you for free," Zoe says before continuing on to the cargo bay. Aden watches her go and sees that Simon has River on her feet. The dark haired girl locks eyes with Aden and holds her gaze as Simon brings her through the common area.

There's something so hopelessly lost in her eyes that has Aden watching her go past with a lump in her throat.

"You're getting it bad," Inara says, making Aden snap to look at her with confusion. "How are those butterflies?"

"Upset. I...I don't like seeing her hurtin'. It makes me feel like I'm gonna be sick," Aden whispers, wrapping her arms around herself, "Is this what it means to care about other people? I've never needed to before...I don't think I like it, Inara. It hurts."

"I know," Inara says empathetically. She again seems to have to restrain herself from giving any comforting touches. "Unfortunately, there's not much I can do to help. Not with something like that. It's out of anyone's control. Even mine."

* * *

A good while later, Aden is in her room with a book about high society etiquette that Inara has loaned to her, and she's just finishing off the first chapter when the door slides open. River slips through the small gap and shuts it behind her.

"River," Aden says, out of surprise more than anything else. "What are you doing in here?"

The other girl doesn't answer and instead just sits next to her on the bed. After spending a good half a minute in complete silence, Aden goes back to reading because it's simpler than trying to comprehend River or her actions. Two seconds after her first page turn, she can feel River tugging on her hair very lightly, like she's examining it.

"Hair grows half a millimeter a day," she murmurs, "A single strand has a lifespan of five years. Average person has 100,000 to 150,000 strands on their head. Fastest growing tissue in the human body except for bone marrow."

"Oh, okay," Aden says, looking up from her book with genuine surprise and interest, "I didn't know that. Any of that." Then she finds herself blushing. "Don't know why I sound so shocked. Don't know much of anything, course I don't know all that, I don't know anything-"

It isn't until River's hand covers her mouth that it occurs to Aden that she's repeating herself and starting to babble in a way that isn't entirely dissimilar to River.

"Doesn't matter," the brunette says intently, with a tiny frown that somehow makes Aden's heart warm a little, "Facts aren't knowledge. Not your fault that no one taught you."

"Facts, or knowledge?" Aden asks through her hand. The resulting sounds are muffled but not overly difficult to understand.

"Either. Anything," River replies, casting her eyes around the room, "But I can. I remember everything. I can teach you."

"I'd like that, if you would."

River doesn't answer.

"But, River, are you okay? I mean, earlier-" Aden finds her words disappearing when River's eyes return to meet hers. Something about them holds her completely, like they are a hypnotic force designed expressly to disable her in thought and action.

"I remember everything. Some of it isn't real, but it all hurts the same," River confesses quietly, "Like needles. With poison." Then, of all the outlandish things, she laughs a little. "But not even they can stay for long. Nothing stays."

"I wish I could," Aden whispers, with a knife twisting in her gut as she recalls that she'll be getting off Serenity the moment they land somewhere suitable. "I mean, since you seem to like having me here. But...you have Simon, and Kaylee, and-"

River's hand splays across her mouth and chin, her soft fingertips pressing into her lips with the lightest possible touch, silencing her. The other hand comes to brush against her cheek.

Aden can't help but lean into the other girl, like it's gravity itself and there's no way to fight it even if she had reason to. Their noses almost touch and suddenly they're grinning at each other, though Aden is unsure as to exactly why. Her heart pounds in her chest and she thinks that perhaps Inara described something of the sort as being indicative of this thing of romance, but she feels that it might also be anticipation and a small measure of fear. But for the first time, she can't be sure that fear is her enemy. As she heard Mal saying once, bravery can only come from fear, and Aden's never thought of herself as brave but after everything she's done with defying the elders and running away and finding Serenity...perhaps bravery is more in her blood than she's thought.

"River?"

Simon's voice makes Aden jump, but River doesn't even blink from where her eyes are regarding Aden as if she's a new constellation of stars to study.

"River, get your hands off her face, you know she doesn't like that!" Simon reproaches, moving forward to guide River off the bed. Aden has to blink, because Simon seeing and addressing the moment he's interrupted as some form of assault as opposed to the truth, even if she's not sure what that truth is, stings.

"Simon, it's okay," Aden tells him quickly, reaching to touch River's arm as she is gently pulled away, "With her, I don't mind so much. Or at all, really."

Simon nods, a look of relief on his face that she thinks has something to do with his wanting others to appreciate his loved one. Aden, however, considers that he knows little to nothing of the depth or nature of her appreciation, and probably wouldn't be pleased if he did.

He loves his sister, more than Aden thinks she's seen anyone love another person, and she admires him for it more than she'll ever be able to say. But he  _does_ see River as a child, as someone he needs to protect from the dangers of the verse. The second part is true, but the first isn't. Aden would never say anything aloud to these strangers who are an odd family unit, not about one of their own, but River doesn't deserve to be babied. She's young, same as Aden, and admittedly juvenile in some ways but also older in others. She's not a child, she simply has a young spirit, and there is a significant difference in Aden's rather uneducated opinion.

"Goodnight, Aden," Simon says politely, and for a moment Aden hopes River might say something similar, but the girl just ducks out the door without so much as a word or a glance in her direction. "Thanks for keeping her company, even if it might not have been voluntary."

"Welcome."

He nods awkwardly before following his sister's lead, shutting the door behind him.

Aden is left with a tingling on her lips and a terrifying truth.

_I don't want to go. I don't want to leave this ship. I like it here, I like the people, and...and if I left I'd never see her again and I can't think of anything worse._

But how could she stay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for how long this took to get out! I had half of the chapter done for ages but the middle got tricky. The main thing is that it's here now! Better late than never, right? I'm probably going to be watching Serenity tomorrow night, so that means I might get some inspiration for the next chapter going immediately.
> 
> Thanks to all who have shown support for this story, you guys are the best!


	6. Stepping In Circles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the dancing scene to Back To You by Twin Forks, because it had the kind of sound I was looking for, just for any interested parties.

_Falling slowly, eyes that know me, and I can't go back_

_Moods that take me and erase me, and I'm painted black_

_You have suffered enough and warred with yourself_

_It's time that you won_

_Take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time_

_Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice, you've made it now_

_Falling slowly sing your melody, I'll sing it loud_

_**Falling Slowly - Once** _

* * *

The next morning, Aden seeks out Inara immediately after breakfast to tell her what transpired when River visited her room, without the part where she'd realised that she wants to stay on the ship. She doesn't need to be bothering anyone else with that particular problem.

"Do you  _want_ to kiss her?" Inara asks, lifting her eyebrows in that knowing way that makes her think she knows more about what Aden wants than Aden does.

"I don't know," Aden says truthfully, "But I think I like it when she's touching me. And I never thought I'd think that about anyone, especially not so quick since I only just started lettin' people touch me." She shrugs hopelessly. "But...she's gentle, and I like that it feels like she's tryin' to tell me that she cares. Or, I dunno actually, maybe she just thinks I feel funny or smell funny-"

"She likes you," the older woman says, smiling, "River's hard to read, but I learned from the best. In her own way, she seems downright attached to you. And from what you're saying, she does seem to be taking a romantic interest."

It seems too good to be true. "...yeah?"

Inara makes a face. "Well, given River's...uniqueness, I'd wait to be sure, since her actions aren't often following the same logic as the rest of us. But I'll watch the both of you and let you know what I think, if you like."

"What about Simon?" Aden is more worried about that than she'd like. She cares a lot about the opinions of everyone on Serenity, but because he's the most important person in River's life and vice versa, Simon's is particularly vital. "What if we're right? What's he gonna think?"

"Honestly? I don't think he's going to like it. But nothing's happened yet, and if it does, then just be truthful with him and hope he understands. He's intelligent but he isn't omniscient or always right."

"Omni-what?" Aden asks blankly, making the ex-Companion chuckle.

"Omniscient. It means all knowing."

"Oh."

* * *

Kaylee spots Aden sitting idly in the cargo bay and the expression on her face looks like that pity thing that Aden's been learning about and definitely doesn't like.

"You okay, sweetie?"

"Yeah, I just wish I could help, you know? I'm no good at anything, but I wanna be."

The mechanic beams at her. "Aw, don't worry about that. Why don't you come and help me out in the engine room?"

"How?"

"You can hold things, and pass 'em to me," she says cheerily, gesturing to her to get up, "And I like having people to talk to."

"Really?" Aden isn't used to anyone actually wanting her around, except for perhaps River, and doesn't know how to feel about it.

"Yeah, really."

So they trapse to the engine room, where Kaylee gets Aden to stand in the middle while she explains the names of the different things she is going to be asking for. There's so many odd looking parts, and too many of them look similar to other ones. She's not sure that she can remember everything she is being told. When she shares this with Kaylee, not wanting to pretend to be smarter than she is, Kaylee just laughs.

"I don't expect ya to know all the names right now, silly," she says, grinning, "I don't reckon anyone but me, River, and maybe the Captain know all the names. Definitely ain't your job. But you might as well learn something. Never know when it might come in handy."

"Okay," Aden says, feeling considerably better.

"So, how are you liking Serenity?" Kaylee bends to get to work and Aden peers to try and see what she's doing but it doesn't follow any sort of sense she possesses, and so she gives up.

"I love it here," the girl admits, "Can't imagine liking anywhere better."

"That's our Serenity." Even though her face is out of Aden's sight, the cheerful pride is audible. The two of them work for a good hour, and Aden is relieved to realise that Kaylee is the easiest person to talk to that she's ever met. She tells Aden stories of some of the adventures the crew of Serenity have had, and they are so alarming and thrilling that Aden doesn't even know if she entirely believes them.

She likes the one about Mal's fake wife, though.

"Shepherd Book kept giving him the shifty eyes for a few weeks after that, even if she did turn out to be all evil," Kaylee says, giggling, "As if the Captain would ever really take advantage of anyone like that."

"Take advantage?"

"Oh, well, you know, because she wasn't knowing so much about the world, and was willing to give herself to him and such," the mechanic explains. "But the Captain's not like that."

"I know," Aden realises aloud, "I think he thought Jayne was gonna try somethin' like that, told him not to call me sweetheart because I was only eighteen, even though Jayne didn't mean it like that."

"No, prob'ly not, but with Jayne we like to be careful," Kaylee says, shaking her head where it is stuck underneath the main engine, "Mal was just looking out for ya, even if he knows that Jayne's type usually got a lot more curve to 'em."

Aden glances down at her more or less entirely flat chest. "Makes sense." She turns briefly to look for a different tool to fiddle with only to see River standing behind her. The tool drops from her hands but River ducks and swoops it up in one easy movement that Aden watches with a mix of awe and envy. When she tries to greet the dark haired girl, her open mouth ends up being covered by River's palm, just like it had in her room before Simon had interrupted them. "River-"

River sighs, visibly exasperated at her presence being revealed. Kaylee slides out to beam at her.

"River! What're you doing in here?"

"Aden."

Kaylee just gives her a questioning look.

"I need someone to dance with," River says seriously and as if it is obvious, "Aden has no job. She's the obvious candidate."

"Sure sweetie, whatever you say," Kaylee replies, grinning. "Think she's helped me for long enough."

River tugs her down the corridor by the hand and they run for no particular reason all the way down to the cargo bay, which Aden supposes has the most space for things like dancing. When they arrive River spreads her arms and tilts her head back, shutting her eyes to bask in something that Aden can't see or feel. In a dark blue skirt and a plain black shirt, River at least looks ready for dancing. Aden feels like anything but a dancer in shorts and combat boots (though at least her grey shirt has long breezy sleeves).

"I don't know how to dance," Aden tells River, half hoping that it might make her change her mind.

"You'll learn."

It occurs to her that River's feet are bare, and she almost expresses concern that she'll step on River's feet before she is hit with a strange inkling that River couldn't be stepped on even if someone went out of their way to try.

River approaches her slowly, with turned out steps that bring them less than a foot apart. Her hand brings Aden's up until their palms are touching and their fingers are splayed apart. Aden can only stare at where her left hand perfectly fits again River's right. The contact is so minimal, so light and without pressure, that it somehow is more intense than having her hand tugged with any degree of force.

"River, do you-"

River's endless dark eyes, locked with hers, don't even blink. "Yes." Given that she hadn't finished the question, it doesn't answer as much as she would like, but since River is a reader, surely she knew what she was answering?

Aden nods. "...okay. Good." That's when something rather important occurs to her. "River, don't we need music to dance?"

"It's in our heads."

"Not in mine, it's not."

"I'll lead," River says, ignoring her last statement as her left hand gently sits on Aden's waist, "Your hand goes on my shoulder." Aden complies and River starts them stepping in a circular movement. A moment later, she also starts to sing a folk song that is beautiful but like most things not known to Aden. They circle each other for a small while before the strum of a guitar has them turning their heads to find its source.

Jayne has perched on a nearby crate and is giving them that edgy grin of his.

"You two just keep doin' what you're doin'," he tells them. "I needed a practice anyway." Emboldened by the music that picks up speed, Aden finds herself grinning at River. Jayne's guitar playing is cheerful and upbeat and she is fairly sure she likes it.

The next thing she knows, the entire world blurs because River is spinning her, and they're both laughing. Aden manages to not stumble when she stops and the world lurches. She hasn't been this dizzy since she played at spinning around as a child with her peers from the compound.

Of course, River gives her no time to recover, pulling her into quick steps across the cargo bay and guiding her with the gentle but firm hold at her waist. River's grin is radiant and Aden wants to watch it more than anything but has to keep her eyes on their feet so that she can do her best to keep hers in time with River's. Miraculously, they don't fall out of step.

Aden thinks she hears voices in the background but the only thing her mind seems to care about is the sound of the guitar and the steps of the dance that River is guiding her through.

Suddenly they aren't face to face but side by side. River has their hands crossed and linked and shows her the footwork that has them moving side to side in tandem, kicking their feet up and stepping across each other's legs. It's tricky but repetitive, and after a while Aden finally feels comfortable enough to look up and let her feet try on their own.

They've garnered an audience. Simon and Kaylee are watching from only a few metres away, both smiling widely. Aden's not seen it much before now but Simon's smile lights up his entire face, and she realises it's the love for River she can see, the happiness at seeing her dancing and so happy.

Of course he loves to watch River dance. She's beautiful and she's his sister, the most precious thing he has. And when Aden glances across at her, she can't denying that when River dances she  _shines_.

"You're not half bad, Aden," Kaylee says, her smile still going strong, and Aden sends a nervous one back.

"Thanks," she replies, still marvelling at how she hasn't tripped over, "I think River should get the credit, though, I'm just followin' her."

"Yeah, but 'just followin' River ain't easy like you make it sound," the mechanic laughs, "Fact is I don't know that anyone else here would be able to. You got some natural talent."

"Or River's a real good teacher." Aden can't really imagining having natural talent at anything, except keeping quiet and watching. "And I'm a real good listener."

Simon chuckles. "River as a teacher. That's new, but given that she's always been smarter than me, maybe it shouldn't be."

"I'm not her teacher," River interrupts, "I'm her partner."

That's when she turns so that they are face to face again and moving all around the cargo bay with the galloping steps and abrupt spins that leave Aden breathless. She laughs because she can't remember having so much fun in her entire life, or ever feeling light enough to fly. Is it possible that Kaylee's right, that this is something she's good at? Or is River just an ideal partner who can make anyone good?

Perhaps it doesn't matter. Perhaps the only things that matter are River's hair whipping past her face and her laugh filling her ears and her grip keeping her anchored in the whirlwind that is their folk dance.

After what seems like an age, the song ends and their final spin fades away into a dizzy standstill. The entire crew are watching, and Aden has to wonder if they were there when she was talking to Kaylee and she didn't notice, or if they had gathered since.

Zoe is up on the stairs, seeming to only be faintly curious about the goings on of the cargo bay. Mal is smiling faintly and gives the two girls a nod when they get their bearings and look up. Inara catches Aden's eye and lifts an eyebrow just enough to convey a sort of amused approval. Simon and Kaylee are already moving to talk to River and say how much they love watching her dance, so Aden wanders over to where Jayne is sitting with his guitar.

"Thanks," she says, and he grunts.

"Yeah, well, I wanted to play and y'all needed music. Seemed to work out."

"You're really good. How'd you learn?"

"My momma taught me," he says, stroking the guitar almost thoughtfully, "Soon as I was big enough to hold one. Same went for my shootin'." Aden has to giggle at that, because the idea of a tiny Jayne trying to learn guitar tickles her fiercely.

"Your momma made your hat too, didn't she?" The orange woollen thing sits on his head currently, and Aden still hasn't decided what she thinks of it.

"Yeah, she did."

When they look up at their surroundings, the crew has dispersed. River has Simon's arm around her shoulders and the siblings plus Kaylee appear to be headed for the kitchen. All three are talking and smiling quietly between them.

 _They look happy,_ Aden thinks, a little wistfully,  _like a little perfect family_.

"So how did you 'n Crazy get to be such best buds?" Jayne asks, pulling her attention back to him. He's up from the crate and beginning to walk away, but given that he's just asked her a question, she figures it's alright to follow.

"You mean River?"

"Yeah. Crazy. Same difference."

Aden frowns at him as she follows him up the stairs by the infirmary. "You don't like River, do you?"

"Since you asked, no."

"Just cause she's a little different?"

Jayne shakes his head, something on his face that's between a smile and a grimace. "Different is Zoe's dead husband liking to play with dinosaurs on the job. With River, I ain't never gonna be sure she ain't gonna go crazy and start killing folk or slashing me open again."

"What?" Aden is sure she must have heard wrong. The idea of River and killing being in the same thought is beyond bizarre.

"They didn't tell ya, huh?" Jayne doesn't sound surprised, and when he shakes his head again it looks like its out of disapproval. "Figures. They like to pretend she's just a hurt little kid from Osiris or whatever but fact is that we've seen her knee deep in reaver blood and Kaylee saw her shoot three guys without so much as lookin'. That sound like safe company to you?"

There aren't words with which to answer. Picturing River killing anyone is too much for Aden's brain and puts a potent unpleasantness in her stomach.

"Course, having someone around who can butcher reavers might be not dumb either," Jayne speculates, more talking to himself than to her, "Long as it's only reavers, and that's the real trick innit?"

"But she's just a girl," Aden manages to say, staring at him and hating that she can tell he's not lying about a single word of it, "How could she kill anyone? Why would she?"

"The government cut into her brain and made her crazy, that means she don't need no why." They reach the entrance to Jayne's bunk and stop. "As for how, well, you were the one dancin' with 'er. I've seen 'er when she's killing and it looks exactly the damn same."

With that he starts descending his ladder and leaves Aden with a chill in her heart and a tremble in her hands.

* * *

After hiding in her room for several hours to mull over what she now knows, Aden slips out into the hallway with the intent of finding River and asking her about what Jayne said. It might be the dumbest thing she'll ever do, but it's important, and she knows that as sure as she knows her own name.

River isn't in her room, or on the bridge. Most of the ship's lights are off or dimmed, and Aden has to guess that everyone is asleep, that it is well into the ship's 'night'. By the time she reaches the runaways overlooking the cargo bay she has begun to lose hope of finding her. Until she notices that the door to the second shuttle is not completely shut.

Her heart drums against her ribcage, more forcefully with each step she takes. It's impossible to know what she is walking toward. A friend? A killer? A potential love? An executioner?

Even with everything Jayne's told her, Aden just can't picture River hurting her. River makes her feel  _safe_. More than anyone else on  _Serenity_. Of course, that doesn't mean that River doesn't frighten her the most too, and the knowledge she's gained only serves to double or triple that particular emotion.

She just doesn't  _know_. And she ought to be used to it because she's lived her whole life knowing nothing. But god she wants to. She wants to know about everything, and she wants River to be the one to teach her. And she wants to know about River and the hold the small brunette has over her.

The metal of the shuttle door is cold under Aden's shaking hands when she pushes it aside. She hasn't been in this shuttle before, and having seen the splendor of Inara's, the dark dankness of it takes her by surprise. She doesn't have much time to think about it, though, because that's when she spots River.

The other girl is lying on her back across some crates, and even though Aden can only half see due to the shuttle's lack of light, River's lack of surprise at her presence is just visible.

"Now you know," River says, and Aden finds herself wincing because  _of course_ she knows one way or another what she has learned. "Know you should run and never look back."

Aden takes a few steps towards her, almost lifting a hand to reach in her direction before changing her mind. "Is that what you want?"

"Is it what  _you_  want?"

"I...I don't know," Aden says truthfully. River sits up and frowns at her in the half-light. The shadows somehow only serve to make her more beautiful in the way they drape around the angles of her face. Like they're colouring her in. It's distracting but Aden somehow manages to add, "Maybe you could tell me."

"You're afraid." River stands so that they are about a metre apart and finally on the same level. "Afraid of the weapon. But still drawn to the girl. Don't know which River is. No one knows."

The way she says it, as if it is so definite, breaks Aden's heart. "You're the girl, River. Always have been. I don't think you'd ever hurt me."

"Can't know that," River whispers, her face contorting with distress, "Loving a blade won't stop it from slitting your throat."

Aden flinches and resists the cowardly urge to run from the room. She's scared, which means this is her very first chance to be brave. Brave in the face of the storm that will one way or another throw her about and leave her changed for life. The storm that is River Tam and her unfaltering gaze and her nonsense words that aren't nonsense and her laugh and her skilled feet that never miss a dance step.

"River, I mean it. Unless you got something to tell me that'll make me think somethin' else, I feel safe with you, no matter what you can do."

"Curiosity killed the little cat. The little mouse just wanted to learn but got put in a lab instead until its brains were broken."

"Maybe," Aden says slowly, "Or maybe you got this whole thing wrong. Way I see it, you're the cat and I'm the mouse." River gives her a curious look, like she hasn't considered that at all and is highly sceptical. "... _your_ mouse."

The other girl takes a step forward to touch her hand gently to Aden's cheek, her thumb brushing over her lips with quiet deliberation. "My mouse," she whispers, thoughtfully and with something that sounds close to awe. "Are you caught in my trap?"

The sandy haired runaway just swallows, hard, and nods. "Yeah, I think I am." River's hand ghosts down from her face to her idle arms, until she can lock their fingers together and look back up at her after following the journey with her eyes. Aden summons all the bravery she has and continues to speak. "I just - I'm not used to feelin' this sorta thing and I'm gonna be honest, River, I'm scared as hell. Was even before today. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or feel and say-"

"Shh." River's dark eyes remind Aden of space. Of neverending dark and beauty and possibility. There's a fear that comes with the idea of getting lost in either, but this fear makes her heart quicken and her palms sweat.

It occurs to Aden that they are chest to chest and less than an inch apart, their near even height meaning that their noses are a hair's breadth from touching.

Just when her brain needs oxygen the most, Aden forgets about breathing. River's so close - too close and not close enough all at once. Even though they're only actually touching in one place, it's an overload for Aden's mind and body, and she fleetingly thinks that she's glad River is a reader because it seems like something that River should know but Aden doesn't know how she could ever explain it in words.

The kiss, when it comes, is so minute that a less aware person might have imagined it. But it brings Aden's entire world to a brief standstill because it's everything it needs to be (even though she hadn't known what she needed before now). It's an earnest gripping of each other's hands at their side and the softest possible pressure from River's lips to hers. It's Aden's eyes drifting shut by some automatic reflex.

It's a whisper of a kiss that lingers when it should be over.

That's when Aden becomes fairly sure that River has never kissed anyone before either. They are both new at this and have no idea what they are doing, but somehow just standing there, so close and still that anyone watching them would have been confused or alarmed, and just feeling each other's every breath...it's right for them.

"Rúguǒ nǐ tiàowǔ wǒ huì gēnsuí," Aden murmurs against River's mouth, which is still half against hers.  _If you dance, I will follow._ "If I can."

She can feel River's smile and matches it with one of her own before they finally lean away and open their eyes to stare at each other. The nerves and fear in Aden's chest have transformed into something quite different. Something warm that bubbles, though still in a way that leaves her unsettled. But not it's not unpleasant this time. Just strange, and she can deal with that.

"I waited a long time for you," River says after a lengthy pause that somehow isn't uncomfortable. "Always knew you were coming. The cat who was really the mouse."

Aden laughs a little, because she isn't quite sure how else to react. "Got here as fast as I could, promise."

River smiles faintly, her eyes shining. "Now you just need to stay."

That immediately makes Aden's heart pang. She wants nothing more, especially now that River is asking it of her, but that doesn't make it easy. "It's not that simple, River," she says, tightening her grip on River's hand a fraction, "I want to. But this ain't my ship. The others gotta want me here too."

This doesn't phase River at all. Her smile this time is satisfied and a tad mischievous. "Then we have a mission."


	7. Pretending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which River pulls Aden into the plans for a job, much to the disapproval of most of the crew.

The next day is one of side glances and furtive smiles. When they're not being watched they allow themselves tiny touches too. (A hand on the shoulder when Mal turns to Zoe, a tucking of hair when conversation moves away from them, all innocent but significant in Aden's eyes and therefore River's as well.)

It should feel wrong to her, but Aden is addicted to River's touch, to the softness of her fingertips - against the shell of her ear, against her cheekbone, across the surface of her palm.

Inara watches them with a wise eye that makes Aden thinks she suspects. While it would hardly be a disaster if she knew the truth, they try to be even more careful as night comes around again. When they are sure Simon is with Kaylee, they go to Aden's room and slide the door shut.

"So how are we going to make it so I can stay?" Aden asks.

"You have to show them your worth."

"What worth?"

"What you have inside, what makes you tick, what makes you special," River says, stepping forward and taking Aden's hand to press it to her chest so that the sandy haired girl can hear her own heart beating. "Everyone has something. Otherwise we're all just bags of meat walking around, no purpose. Simon has medicine, Kaylee has her ships, Mal can make people follow with his words-"

"I'm not like them!" Aden tells her earnestly. "I'm not special. I'm just a dumb girl who ran away."

River just fixes her with a look that plainly says she isn't in the mood for hearing such things. "No."

"But it's true! I just wanted to be free, the only thing I know how to do is pick locks and read books, and I'm not even any good at the second one!" It doesn't make sense, how River can think there's more to Aden than even Aden knows. Surely she knows herself better than anyone else! 

"You can climb rocks, scour distances, I've seen it in your mind. At your home, always wandering, getting in trouble later."

"River," Aden whispers, with a fear that she has been reluctant to voice, "They ain't gonna let me stay cos I can climb rocks."

"But you can hide," River replies, taking her hand, "Melt into the shadows like you're a ghost, a ghost who can steal. Has. Will. Just needs the right chance." She sounds so sure, that for a moment, Aden almost believes her. 

Aden squeezes her hand tightly. "I'm not some thief they can recruit. I'm just me. I wanna be here but I couldn't do the things I'm realising you and 'em do."

"You can." River frowns at her, drops her hand like a hot potato, and leaves the room without another word. Aden stares after her before lying on her bed and wondering how she had gotten herself into such a mess.

* * *

 The next day the crew receives a job. Aden isn't told the specifics, at least not officially. River tells her when they talk in a corner of the cargo bay.

"It's a robbery, border planet," the brunette explains quickly and concisely, her eyes steadily holding Aden's because she doesn't need them to be aware of their surroundings. "Not a fancy one. Scruffy and easier for people like us to fit in."

"What're they stealin'?"

"A book."

"How could a book be worth stealing?"

"One of a kind and ancient – priceless." River whispers the last word. "It's in a school, they want to send me in with Kaylee, as students, playing pretend. But it's wrong. Kaylee is wrong. It should be you."

"River, no-"

"It's a two girl job," River continues, grinning at her, "We can play pretend together."

"Kaylee knows what she's doing, I don't know nothing about anything, I'd never be able to pass for someone who went to a school fancy enough to have some priceless old book!" Aden whispers furiously. This insane idea River has about her being able to be some incredible outlaw isn't just getting old, it's getting upsetting. Does River like her because she thinks that's who Aden is?

The thought is almost too much to bear and tears prick at her eyes.

"I'm just me," she adds, staring at the dark eyed girl who currently has her heart aching. "Stop thinkin' I'm more than that, I thought you liked  _me,_ not this person you think I am-"

River's hands cup her face and the other girl kisses her fleetingly, so quickly that Aden half wonders if she imagined it, but given that it's only their second kiss she doesn't think she did. "Both. You're both. You'll see."

Then Aden is being pulled up the stairs and into the dining area, where the rest of the crew is gathered. Their conversation seems focused and busy but it abruptly fades when the two girls enter the room.

Every pair of eyes turns to them, and Simon's gaze lingers on their joined hands but River's grip remains firm.

"River, what are you-"

"I want Aden." When everyone in the room exchanges confused glances, River adds, "For my partner. Not Kaylee."

The room erupts into a deafening chorus of disagreement, all variations on the same negative tune that made Aden cringe. If it weren't for River anchoring her in place, she would already have run from the room.

"Albatross, have you been tellin' her about the job?" Mal demands.

"Yes."

Mal swears in Chinese while Simon narrows his eyes at his sister. " _Meimei_ , you can't just-"

River finally releases Aden's hand so that she can cross her arms while staring her brother down. "She's the only logical choice. Stealth is what's necessary and Kaylee doesn't have it."

"Yeah, but at least Kaylee's got a gorram  _brain_  on her," Jayne says, and Aden takes the slight in silence without any visible reaction because she's had the Elders say much worse to her and this time she happens to agree with the large violent man.

"Aden's not  _stupid_ , she's just less educated, there's a difference, Jayne," Inara snaps.

"So you'd send in an  _uneducated_ stranger girl?"

The ex-companion flushes. "I didn't say that. But it's an option we certainly hadn't considered."

Zoe and Mal up to this point have both been quietly regarding Aden with a degree of thoughtfulness that worries Aden. Having every single person in the room besides River (whose back is to her) staring at her makes Aden's heart pound and her brain threaten to fog up.

"Zoe, thoughts?" Mal finally asks.

"Girl could be useful, sir, but she hasn't been talkative so far as to how," the black woman says, her solemn eyes not leaving Aden as she speaks.

"This wasn't my idea!" Aden retorts, crossing her arms nervously. "River's just been talking crazy about me being some ideal thief but I'm not, I'm just…quiet because I'm too damn afraid of being loud!"

"And good with locks," Mal and River say at the same time. River then looks over her shoulder at Aden, with a smidge of hurt in her eyes that Aden realises is due to the use of the word 'crazy'. Guilt floods her but it's not the time to apologise.

"Can you act?" Kaylee asks Aden. When everyone gives her questioning looks, the mechanic shrugs. "Hey, I'm not much of a liar or an actor, so if Aden can, might not be the worst idea-"

"-'cept she's not on the crew," Mal interrupts sharply. "Passengers don't do jobs, 'specially not delicate ones. I might like her well enough but I don't know if I can trust her, and a job like this I need to know she's not gonna go running to the Feds for a pretty penny."

"Mal," Inara says, disapproval in her voice, "She wouldn't do that-"

"You sure of that, Inara?" He challenges.

"Yes."

Aden feels her eyes widen at the woman's trust in her, and all the men in the room wear similar expressions.

"Can you?" Mal asks Aden once he's turned away from Inara.

"Can I what?"

"Act. Lie and be believed."

"I dunno, I guess so," Aden replies with honest uncertainty, "I lied to the Elders all the time about what I was doin'. The only reason they stopped believing me was 'cause it happened so many times that they'd have to be idiots to not know I was bein' false with 'em."

"Well, that's not nothing," Mal considers, nodding, "But that ain't nearly enough in the bigger picture. The idea's got weight, you look more the part of a schoolgirl than Kaylee here, you and River would blend in just fine. So long as you pretend you know more than you do and River can keep quiet if she starts feeling special and chatty-like."

"Mal, you're not seriously considering this?" Simon asks, aghast.

"I'm with the doctor," Jayne says, "This idea is a whole barrel of crazy, sending either of 'em is plain stupid, sending  _both-_ "

"I wasn't finished!" Mal shouts, silencing them both with a single look before turning his stern and intimidating gaze onto Aden. "There's the glaring problem of me not being sure I can trust you, Aden from the religious nut farm."

"Not that I'm really sure I'm wantin' to go, Captain, but you can, I promise," Aden says sincerely as he takes several steps towards her and she instinctively steps backwards out of nerves.

"Then why're you looking like you wanna bolt on me?" He doesn't stop coming closer and she forces herself to stop at the doorway, hold onto the frame, and meet his eye.

"Cause I'm not the bravest and right now you're scary," she stammers.

"I'm not scary if you've got nothing to hide." His eyes don't quite go with his words and she has to use all her willpower to keep her feet planted and not run for it.

"You know I don't!"

"No, I took your word for it when we met, there's a difference."

"I got no reason to lie to you! There ain't enough to me to know what to lie about," she cries as he comes to stand in the doorway opposite her, his larger body overshadowing hers and making her regard him with true fear.

"Mal, she's terrified, stop it!" Inara shouts at her lover, but he pays her no attention and keeps his eyes fixed on Aden, who is clutching her skirt with both hands in an attempt to stop them from shaking.

"My crew are my number one priority," Mal tells Aden in a low tone, his arm above her head making her feel even more like a trapped sheep in a wolf den. "Trusting strangers is the quickest way to get killed or locked up by Feds. Give me one good reason why we should trust you at all, let alone with something like this."

" _Wǒ bìng bùxiǎng chéngwéi yīgè mòshēng rén_ ," Aden whispers, quietly enough that she's fairly sure only Mal hears it.  _I don't want to be a stranger._ His hard expression doesn't shift.

"Yeah, well, wanting ain't enough," he says simply, "It don't change the truth."

She tries something simpler. "You people saved me when I got shot. You didn't have to do that, you coulda let me die but you didn't. You might not think that's important but it's the most important thing there is to me. You got me out of my hell of a livin' and even if I paid ya I still feel like I'll owe you for all my life for that. I'd  _never_ betray you, not to anyone, not for anything. You people are the closest I've had to friends in my whole life."

Mal nods. "True." He silently holds her gaze for over ten seconds and it's all Aden can do to not crack under his scrutiny. "Now, I'm going to make one thing clear. The only thing you need to be remembering," he says slowly, "Is if you turn on me and mine, there's nowhere in the universe I won't follow you and make you more sorry than you could ever reckon being in your tiny wild dreams.  _Dong ma?_ "

She nods furiously. He finally pushes away from her and moves past River back into the centre of the dining room. Aden slides down the doorframe as a sob wracks her whole body and tears burst out of her, because the Elders never scared her as much as Mal just did, and the fact that she cares what he thinks of her makes the whole thing so much worse.

"You know I know she won't," River says to Mal at the same time that Aden finds Inara at her side and touching her lightly on the shoulder to see if she's okay.

"She still needed to hear it," he replies, getting an enraged look from Inara.

"Why, Mal? Because you needed a moment to be the tough Captain? Because an innocent girl offering to help us deserves to be scared half to death?" The dark haired beauty demands.

"She needed to know who she's getting in with!" Mal exclaims. "You think I'm too harsh? Good! We're maybe about to throw her into the world with a cover story and hope she doesn't get herself killed. There are worse types than me and I'll bet there are a few of them are guarding that book. She doesn't learn to handle harsh, she ends up dead or worse."

Inara shoots him a glare before helping Aden wipe her face clean of the tears that haven't quite finished falling yet.

"When did we decide that sending in little girls was a good idea?" Jayne asks.

"One of the little girls is more competent than you in everything possible, Jayne," Zoe tells him flatly, "And the other one at least knows when to keep her mouth shut and looks the part."

"Besides, it's a boarding school for girls, we don't have a whole lot of options," Kaylee adds, shrugging while Simon frowns and keeps quiet.

River turns and along with Inara helps Aden to her feet. Once that is done, she remains by her side. "I do it with Aden or not at all."

"I don't like ultimatums, albatross," Mal tells her sharply, "Not even from you." River just lifts an eyebrow at him. "But you and Aden are our best option, so it's what we'll go with."

* * *

 Once they're on course for the border planet in question (Boros, home of the Alliance shipyards, but the school they're heading for is in the capital city of the planet and therefore is not particularly close to any Feds), it becomes the job of everyone on board to prepare River and Aden for the undercover operation.

Inara makes them both wash in her tub before brushing their hair while Mal and Kaylee show them the basic layout of the school in question. It's been decided that for safety both now and later, both girls are to take different names.

Being referred to as Adeline is going to be strange for Aden, that she knows, but not as hard as trying to remember to call River by the name of Rose.

The need for different names makes sense, she supposes, but that doesn't mean she has to like it. They practice using them until Aden can almost feel comfortable with it. Naturally River needs no practice and never fails to respond to Rose or refer to Aden as Adeline.

Aden gets further education from various members of the crew about general politics and everything else that is considered common knowledge but that she lacks. Thankfully her basic mathematical and writing skills are at least at a passable level.

Entrance to the school requires an interview which is how a few days later Aden finds herself in a ground floor office in the school with Mal sitting next to her claiming to be her older brother.

The woman sitting across from them reminds her of the female Elders back home, with the difference being that this woman isn't pretending to be fancy, she  _is_  fancy, with her beaded spectacles and pristine clothing made out of clean and shiny fabric. Her hair is white and short and curly, and again just a bit more clean that what Aden's used to.

"So, Adeline, can you tell me about your previous education?"

Aden gulps. "Not too much to tell, Ma'am, just your general….educating. Numbers and writing and learning about history and the 'verse and such."

The woman at the desk, who according to her name card is the Deputy Principal and called Millicent Rhodes, nods minutely. "Homeschooled or a country school?"

"Bits of both," Mal answers with ease and a smile, "This would be a big step for her but she's bright and willin' to learn, that I can promise."

"Do you like learning, Adeline?"

This at least can be answered truthfully and Aden nods her head in earnest. "Yes, Ma'am, more than anything!"

"There's more to being a part of this school than learning, though," Rhodes continued, polishing her glasses, "It's about turning out young ladies. Discipline and courtesy are crucial parts of what we are about here. Your general diction and spoken grammar could use a little work, but you've addressed and regarded me with the due respect since your arrival, so as long as you can assure me that your teachers will get the same respect, I think you will make a perfectly adequate addition to this school."

Aden feels her eyes widen. It actually worked? "Thank you, Ma'am! I…I won't let you down!"

"See that you don't," Rhodes replies, almost sounding amused, "Now, Mr Frye, if you could just sign these enrolment papers here, then we can expect you to drop your sister off tomorrow with her things…"

* * *

 By the time they're leaving the building, Mal is grinning.

"You did okay in there," he tells Aden, clapping her on the back, "Good job."

"Thanks sir," she answers, pleased but still wary of him and unable to forget how he had scared her so in the dining area. "Let's just hope River and Inara have the same luck."

"They're using my last name, they'll be fine."

"Rose and Inara Reynolds," Aden says, rather slyly, grinning.

"Yep," he replies, smirking, and Aden knows he is remembering the near fit Inara had thrown when it was decided what last names each pair were going to adopt. Apparently just because two people are in love and doing a lot of kissing and probably...other things...it doesn't mean they necessarily liked the idea of being married or sharing names. In the end it had taken some smooth 'flirting' on Mal's part to make Inara agree. 

What Aden's also learned is that flirting is when two people talk and tease each other in a way that conveys that they're in a romantic relationship or want to be. Or something like that. It's one of those things that seems so subjective and complex that Aden can't entirely work up the energy to try and fully understand it. Especially considering that her own interest lies in River and River is hardly known for conventional methods of anything.

They return to the ship and wait in the dining area for River and Inara to return from their interview. River is the wildcard, Mal tells Aden while he cleans his guns, and will either be the thing that cinches the job or makes the whole thing fall apart.

When they do return, both brunettes are wearing small smiles.

"Well?" Mal asks, getting up.

"She was fantastic, she's in," Inara tells them, giving River a proud squeeze around the shoulders.

"Rose Reynolds is easy," the Tam girl says, with a bashful grin, "Being River Tam is trickier."

"Are we allowed to know each other, Captain?" Aden asks suddenly, when it occurs to her. "Or will we need to pretend to meet?"

Mal blinks, apparently having not considered that. "Pretending to meet might be safer."

"Don't worry," River says seriously, "Rose is very friendly."

Something about the way it is said is just funny and the other three laugh before going over plans for the drop off the next day.

* * *

 Clutching a small borrowed suitcase from Kaylee, Aden does her best to move through the Boros crowds without getting separated from Mal. Every time she bumps another person – which is about every five seconds – she can't help but cringe.

"What did I tell you," Mal says casually, once he has noticed, "Crowds. They were always gonna be a problem for you."

"Never doubted you, sir," she replies with forced calm. By the time they finally arrive at the school, her skin feels strange and bruised even though no one bumped her harshly and there's no way she could actually have bruises.

"Now, we're going to need to agree on an appropriate goodbye in case people are watchin' us," he murmurs, "I'd say hug if you weren't, you know, like y'are. But I'm your brother sending you to boarding school, we gotta do somethin'."

"You could pretend to ask for a hug and I could say no, like I think it would be embarrassing or somethin'," Aden suggests, "And if you need to do something like kiss my head like Simon does with River, that would be okay, I think."

"Sounds like a plan," he says, smiling as they go inside into the lobby. "Well, Adeline, you're gonna be good now, aren't you?"

Aden can barely reply in the affirmative before the Deputy Principal spots them and hurries over.

"Miss Frye, excellent," she says, "Say your goodbyes and then head over to the room down the hall to try on uniforms."

"Now, Addy, can I get a hug?" Mal asks, his arms spread.

"No," Aden says with a cheeky grin, and sticks her hand out for him to shake instead. Mal makes a show of glancing at the Deputy and rolling his eyes.

"This is what I get," he complains, and the Deputy's lips twitch. He shakes Aden's hand and uses it to pull her in so that he can press an incredibly light kiss of brotherly affection to the crown of her hair. "Make me proud, kid."

"I will," Aden promises, knowing they're no longer acting as brother and sister but as two people planning an undercover heist. He leaves with a wave and she watches him go before hurrying off to the room for the uniforms.

A cheerful elderly Chinese woman spots her instantly. "Ah, good, another one! Get your dress off and get up on one of those stools so I can get a look at you."

Coming from an overly religious background, nudity is not something Aden is particularly comfortable with, even though she knows she has her bra and little shorts on underneath.

"Okay," she says, slowly, and the lady chuckles.

"You girls are so shy sometimes, you act like I haven't seen a hundred of you today already. You'll stop being shy around old Ming eventually."

The idea that not being entirely comfortable with being undressed is not actually strange makes Aden feel considerably better, as does the knowledge that she is far from the first to do so. She whips the dress off and rounds the corner to see some stools and that someone else is already standing on top of one, in a similar state of undress as her.

River.

"Hi," Aden says shyly, doing her best to act as though she's never seen her before.

"Hi!" River greets brightly, in an entirely un-River-ish manner. "Are you new too?"

"Yeah."

"Cool! I'm Rose," she continues as Ming gets her to step into a knee length navy skirt, and holds out a hand even before she straightens up. "Rose Reynolds."

"Adeline Frye," Aden stammers, shaking her hand and doing her best not to gape at this girl who is wearing River's face and yet is not River at all. Unnerving doesn't even begin to cover it.

"You don't need to look so nervous, I don't bite," River chatters, "You're like a scared little mouse or something."

_Little mouse_. It's a subtle and very clever move on River's part to help her know she was still in there. It also works like a charm, not just in reminding her that they are still the same cat and mouse they are when on Serenity, but that River can still read her mind and know when she's worried and what she's worried about.Aden relaxes instantly, especially when she catches a familiar mischievous glint in River's eye. 

"Sorry," Aden replies, giving her a grin.

"It's okay! I just thought you should know I'm the opposite of scary. Just really friendly, promise."

As River, or rather, Rose, keeps chattering, Aden can only think that this crazy plan might actually work, and be strangely fun at the same time.


End file.
